13 Products You Won’t Believe Exist
We’ve all had our share of weird product purchases that probably should’ve never hit the market (here’s to you, Snuggie). From the items geared towards the lazy (like the Clapper) down to the outright silly ones (Handerpants—underpants for your hands), these inventions aren’t the most conventional. Entire websites are dedicated to such products; from toys and games, to art and design and fashion and gear, the sites curate strange finds from all over the Web.
Inc. magazine said that the key to getting a weird product off the ground is “free sampling and a healthy sense of humor.”
Some of these you might actually purchase. But we don’t know how others ever made it to market.
1.) The Flying Alarm Clock
When a standard alarm clock isn’t enough to get you out of bed, this one flies in saving the day. This product aims to take the “snooze” out of the relationship you have with your clock. Once you set it to a time you’d like to get up, the clock wakes you with a shrieking noise that sounds like a state of emergency alarm. A portion of the device leaps off of the nightstand and begins propelling itself in the air around the room. To turn it off, you have to get out of bed and do a little chasing; to turn the alarm off, you have to connect the flying bit to its base… if you don’t throw it across the room first.
The majority of Amazon reviewers haven’t favored the product; out of 104 current reviewers, nearly half of them awarded the alarm device just 1 star, many of whom claim it failed to work straight out of the box. One reviewer said: “I got this alarm because of the novelty, and I thought it would help me stay out of bed in the morning. Thing is, the alarm goes off for so long before the ‘rotor’ lifts off of the base, that I am able to get out of bed and hit snooze without chasing the thing.”
2.) The Comfort Wipe
The Comfort Wipe is the real deal—in the bathroom. It’s manufactured by different companies and distributed by major retailers, like Walgreens and Walmart. So what is it, exactly? It’s a plastic device that helps you wipe yourself without having to touch toilet paper, or going anywhere near the area that needs to be cleaned. Simply attach the toilet paper to the wand-like contraption, wipe yourself, and release the toilet paper with the click of a button. The infomercial boasts that it adds “18 inches of reach.” TIME magazine named it one of the worst inventions, ever.
Out of a surprisingly large pool of 195 reviews, only 35 were 1-starred, while 51 were 5-starred. One five-star reviewer said: “I currently weigh 500 pounds and my arm is no longer long enough to reach where it is sometimes needed, I have tried several ‘aids’ and this is the best by far. Both the handle and the paper ends are covered with what seems to be a type of gripping rubber… The tool is of sufficient width as to give good coverage which may prevent some of the need for multiple attempts.”
3.) HandzOff Anti-Masturbatory Gum
We’ll let the description on the back of this chewing product speak for itself: “We know nature’s urges can arise at the most inappropriate times. That’s where HandzOff Anti-Masturbatory Gum comes in handy. When you’ve got the fire down below and you say no—chew HandzOff instead. Two Handzoff chews offer 4 to 6 hours of relief. You may chew up to 120 pieces as needed.”
One Amazon reviewer said, “Whew! What a relief it was when I popped a piece in my mouth! Great gag gift! While I still did have the urge, my breath is minty fresh!”
4.) Box of Laughter & Applause
This product is featured in SkyMall, a hub for wacky and strange products that people don’t really need. If you’re lacking a bit of confidence, this can be yours for $24.95. Craving a little recognition? Someone who gets your jokes? Open the Box of Applause and be greeted with the sounds of cheering and clapping from a very enthusiastic crowd. Or open the Box of Laughter to hear uproarious guffaws. Close your eyes and imagine yourself accepting that Oscar, Nobel, or Best Comedy Emmy,” Skymall’s descriptionreads.
From Skymall: “Purchased the box of laughter as a gift for my cousin in LA who is a comedian and writer. It’s a cute idea – you open the box and a laugh track plays. It’s a bit overpriced for what it is – a little box with a recorded sound byte that plays when you open the box – and it’s made in China (like most things) but it was a cute idea and made for a fun little gift.”
5.) Dust Mop Slippers
The sad thing about this is, they’re serious. The packaging reads, “No more kneeling and stooping to clean those out-of-the-way places! Simply slip on these convenient slippers for a clean & sparkling floor!” While I’m not convinced these slippers would thoroughly clean anything, others might disagree.
This item averaged a rating of 3.5 out of 5 on Amazon. A two-star reviewer said, “Flimsy, cheap design. Very thin paper-like upper material, thus providing minimal support at best for your feet. Base material seems good enough for the purpose though.”
6.) BabyKeeper Basic
This child carrier works like any other—except that its intended to use in bathroom stalls. The device hangs from the doorin public restrooms so that mommy can handle her business without having to maneuver her infant. Ellen DeGeneres featured the product on her show as the crowd laughed. “Maybe I will have a baby,” she said. “That’s all I was waiting for. I didn’t think I’d have any place to put my baby while I was in the bathroom.”
“I always found it difficult to know what to do with my daughter when I needed to use the toilet or even a fitting room and I did not have a stroller with me,” Tonja King, inventor of the product, told the Daily Mail.
While many articles on the BabyKeeper Basic are out there, there aren’t as many reviews. One person, in response to the Daily Mail article, expressed safety concerns: “Infants’ hips are not designed to dangle like that. They need to be wider to prevent hip dysplasia developing. Not a good idea… Besides that, if you hang the child up inside the cubicle with you when you use public toilets, you will need to carry the child to the washbasin (with your dirty hands) and hang the child up again. Unless the hanger is thoroughly cleaned after each event like this, your baby hanger is going to become a breeding ground for bacteria.”
7.) Under-Ease Pants
The Under-East pants keeps the farts in. The Under-Ease 2G comes with replaceable filters for gas.
“Under-Ease are underwear for protection against bad human gas,” said company president and inventor Buck Weimer. “We get a lot of jokes – but we don’t doubt that this is a serious product that serves a purpose.”
Weimer appeared with his wife on an episode of Shark Tank, asking for an investment in their product. The Sharks didn’t invest, but the couple saw a huge boost in sales after the show aired, and seems to be doing just fine.
One testimonial from Anna Marie reads, “My plane ride to and from Kansas, my dinner with the doctor and co-workers in Kansas, and the clinics went over smooth and without odor. I did have gas but was relieved that no one else knew but me.”
8.) As-Seen-On-TV Hat
The TV Hat is pretty much self-explanatory. It’s a TV attached to an elongated visor. We don’t need to make fun of this product too much. So many other people have done that for us.
“Yes, TV Hat!” said Stephen Colbert on his Comedy Central show. “For the few of you that aren’t watching this on your TV Hat right now, I’ll explain: TV Hat is TV… in a hat.”
“Here’s how bad this product is: Not only does it ask you to stuff your iPhone into a pocket at the end of a camouflage visor, iPhones don’t even fit in the pocket,” read a review from Gizmodo. “Neither did my Droid, although the iPod Touch fits okay. Oh, and it comes with a weird semicircular flap of nylon with a Velcro strip that I cannot for the life of me figure out how it attaches. It’s really embarrassing; that flap makes me feel like I’m too dumb to use the dumbest product I’ve ever seen.”
9.) The Original Fart Man Candle
This candle appeared on Shark Tank, and none of the Sharks chose to invest.
According to the description for the candle, “The most offensive candle you will ever smell in this lifetime… The Original Fart Scented Man Candle! Please beware of this candle, it really is not for the faint of heart! Great as a gag gift or for clearing the ladies out of your man cave before the big game to ensure no interruptions. Only a real man could handle this scent!”
From an Amazon shopper: “Holy cow! I used to have to eat tons of broccoli and then wait an hour for nature to do its work! Now I just strike a match and I no longer need to eat any broccoli!”
10.) Boyfriend Arm Pillow
Is there anyone else out there that thinks this is just…creepy? It’s a half of a man’s torso and arm. Overstock’s description reads, “Cuddle up to this uniquely designed arm pillow. This dream man arm pillow is a soft and cozy body pillow that comfortably wraps around the body, providing a secure sense of comfort.”
Out of 224 current reviews, the product had a whooping average rating of 4.7 out of 5. One reviewer said, “I bought this pillow to keep me company on nights when my husband, a correspondent for the Trans-Alaskan News Network, was out of town. The pillow exceeded even my wildest expectations. I’m told the pillow was modeled after Brad Pitt, and I believe it! When I first nestled against the soft, but firm chest of my new ‘husband’ I slept better than I ever had before. Now I don’t mind when my husband goes out of town!” Many others expressed similar sentiments.
11.) Citti Kitty
Citti Kitty is a another product from the Shark Tank—one that was successfully invested in by Kevin O’Leary for $100,000 with 20-percent equity. The device’s inventorit successfully train kittens to use the toilet, thus removing the need to have a kitty litter box.
Out of 501 current Amazon reviews, Citti Kitty has an average rating of 3.3 out of 5, with 103 1-star reviews and 162 5-star reviews. A one-star reviewer said: “We have two cats and they both refuse to use this product for going #2. Instead, they have taken to doing their business on the new carpet and new couch. While other reviewers have been patient enough to wait it out past 2 months, we’re not willing to deal with any more of these accidents.” A five-star reviewer, on the other hand, wrote, “I got a CitiKitty kit last fall as a bit of a skeptic… now I brag about my toilet-trained cat to strangers in the grocery line. The kit is very straight-forward and simple to use.”
12.) Pet Rock
The Pet Rock is one of those rare gems that shouldn’t have gone anywhere, but was in the right place at the right time. Created in the mid-70s by advertising executive Gary Dahl, the Pet Rock was intended to be the ultimate pet—one you wouldn’t have to bathe, walk, feed, or take any major amount of your time to take care of. Somehow it became an overnight sensation. According to the St. Petersburg Times, the Pet Rock sold an average of 6,000 units per day in the summer of 1976.
A one-star reviewer poked fun at the Pet Rock, saying, “So the other day I was taking my daily leisurely stroll through the local recreational park. I decided to take my new pet rock out for a walk so he would stop fornicating with the couch cushions. While sitting on a park bench, a group of small children accidentally threw a Frisbee my way, thus striking me in my left temple. Enraged, I yelled an obscenity out of pure shock and surprise. My pet rock acted almost immediately. He got out of his collar, jumped into my hand, and began repeatedly striking the children in the kidneys over and over.”
13.) Zaky Infant Pillow
This is downright scary. I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t want a pair of floating hands cradling my infant child. Maybe they belong to the floating torso? The Pregnancy Store describes the product: “The Zaky is designed to imitate the look and feel of a parent’s hand and forearm. Babies are used to the warm comfort and protection of their mother’s womb and the Zaky can help imitate that feeling as it provides similar support.” Or you could just…I don’t know… hold the baby?
One reviewer wrote, “We read about these and thought it was a pretty strange concept but ended up ordering a 2nd one after using the first for a while. It’s not like this replaces you holding your baby, as that was our first thought, but the sad truth is you can’t be there 100% of the time. I use these when I’m with her on the couch and need to run a load of laundry, answer the phone, etc. It looks a little strange but seems to be comforting so we’re all for it.”
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