The New York Knicks are God awful, and everyone knows it. After coming off a game 7 defeat to the Indiana Pacers in the second round of the playoffs last year, Knicks fans had high hopes coming in to the 2013-14 season. Those high hopes have turned in to a feeling of embarrassment. The Knicks are the laughing stock of the NBA, and hold one of the worst records throughout the league. With the holiday season among us, and Christmas a little over a week away, Knicks fans can dream of waking up to these 16 headlines.

1. Mike Woodson Fired!

Either Woodson doesn’t preach team work or the players just don’t listen to him. Either way, Woodson’s time in New York is up, and he needs to get the boot.

2. Carmelo Anthony Traded For 2 First Round Picks

With Knicks fans losing trust, and faith in Carmelo “Ball-hog” Anthony, it would be super sweet to see him get traded to a team for a few first round picks. This upcoming draft is supposed to be full of young stars, and one of the best draft classes in history.

3. Amare Stoudemire Receives Two Knee Transplants

Lets face it, Stoudemire’s knees are shot, and are the reason he’s no longer a threat. What better gift can there be than to have Stoudemire return to his old self?

4. James Dolan Sells The Knicks

The guy was born with a silver spoon in his mouth, and clearly knows nothing about basketball or New York. It would probably be the greatest news of all time if James Dolan were to sell the Knicks, and stay the hell away from the team.

5. Rajon Rondo Traded To New York

There were rumors that the Knicks were talking to the Celtics about acquiring Rondo. Bringing in a guy like Rondo, who actually knows how to run a team, and dish out assists, would be a huge boost.

6. Knicks Hire Jeff Van Gundy

Here’s a guy that Knows New York, and knows all about New York fans. If there was one coach Knicks fans can trust to turn around this ugly season, it’s Mr. Jeff Van Gundy. Bring him back!

7. JR Smith Gets Tired Of The NYC Nightlife And Decides To Move

JR has never seen a shot he didn’t like. He has no concept of teamwork, and clearly lost his 6th man ways. A comment allegedly posted from singer Rhianna’s Instagram account earlier this year might help shed some light on his poor performances, “his a– be hungover from clubbing every night during playoffs.”

8. Chris Smith Promoted Back To The NBA And Scores 50!

Being called the worst NBA player in the game, and only being on the Knicks roster earlier in the season because he’s JR’s brother, it would be a Christmas miracle to see this guy put up 50 in an NBA game. We can all dream right?

9. Tyson Chandler ACTUALLY Develops A Jump Shot.

Throughout the offseason, there was much talk on Chandler’s “new” jump shot. Before he got injured it was clear that his jump shot still sucked. Don’t lie to us!

10. Garnett, Pierce, And Terry Traded To The Euro-league

All Knicks fans hate these three guys with a passion, if you don’t you’re not a true Knicks Fan. Enough Said.

11. Carmelo Anthony And Amare Stoudemire Attend A Seminar On Defense

It’s clear Camelo and Amare don’t play any defense. Maybe it’s time they learned…now that would be a miracle.

12. Knicks To Bring Back David Lee

Everyone loved him because he played defense, and got rebounds. This guy defined the word “hustle”, and to see him suit up for the Knicks again would be spectacular.

13. John Starks To Replace Wally Szczerbiak

Why is Wally Szczerbiak on the Knicks pre and post game shows? He’s never played for the Knicks! Brining in a Knicks fan favorite like Starks would make a lot of Knicks fans happy.

14. Raymond Felton Drops 20 LBS

Again, we can dream right?

15 Walt Frazier Expands His Vocabulary

We all love Walter “Clyde” Frazier, but his vocabulary is always on autopilot. How many times have we heard “dishing and swishin” or “wheeling and dealing.”

16. Kevin Durant And Russell Westbrook To Sit Out Christmas Day

The Knicks play the Thunder on Christmas day. If miraculously Durant,and Westbrook, didn’t play, the Knicks might actually have a chance at a “W.”

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