18 Reasons Why Dating An Older Man Won’t Work Out In The Long Run (And 4 Reasons To Give You Hope That It Will)

18 Reasons Why Dating An Older Man Won’t Work Out In The Long Run (And 4 Reasons To Give You Hope That It Will)


Fox/New Girl

Fox/New Girl

Though this list may sound like it’s targeted toward young ladies seriously contemplating shacking up with a significantly older man (because it partially is), it’s also for those men who believe proposing to someone in her 20s as they approach 50 is a grand idea. You guys should consider what it will be like for a much younger lady to age by your side as you really age. If you’re convinced that a supremely hot sugar baby will make a devoted wife, please take note of these warnings for young women who like to date old.

1. When You’re 50, He’ll Be 70

That sounds dramatic; don’t forget how it actually looks…

2. Wrinkles

Try Googling images of 50-year-olds and 70-year-olds and see how many more of these lines the latter group has.

3. Your Parents

They will never trust him if he’s 10-plus years your senior, no matter what he does to gain their approval along the way.

4. “Settling Down”

If he encourages you to do this before you’re ready, you will forever resent him for what you missed out on.

5. Constant Stink Eye From Waiters

Every time you go to a restaurant, the staff will glare at you both — him for being shallow and you for being a gold digger. This may not be the case, but whether it is or not, taking on daily public scrutiny like this is no picnic.

6. Retirement

It will happen a whole lot earlier for him than it will for you, so you’ll get jealous of his increased free time while he’ll start demanding more of your attention to fill up his long, empty hours, even though you’re still an occupied professional.

7. Adult Diapers

You’re already going to have elderly parents to deal with as the years progress. Why would you want to have to deal with your husband’s incontinence right after you finish cleaning up after your parents’ senior messes?

8. Being 50 With A 5-Year-Old Is Rough

If you want to wait to have a kid until you’re in your early 30s, your older man is going to be about 50. Having to run around after a 5-year-old is hard work, especially if it’s been that much longer since your man ran around as a 5-year-old.

9. Imbalance Of Power

Age demands a certain level of respect. Older people warrant more of it, so while your man’s white hair will give him all kinds of credit with the people you two encounter, you’ll automatically be dismissed as slightly inferior, regardless of your personal attributes.

10. He’ll Always Have Done More

By the time you settle down together, he’ll have amassed a bunch more life experiences than you (he’s had like 20 extra years). Your life will end up being smaller in comparison since your shared years will make up far more of your total life experience than his.

11. His Sex Drive Will Diminish Before Yours

Women supposedly experience their sexual peak at age 35, while men allegedly go downhill after turning 18, allegedly. Why take your chances?

12. Your Nostalgia Won’t Line Up

Wouldn’t it be nice to get old with someone and, as your rocking chairs creak back and forth, reminisce about the shows and music of your youths? This can’t quite happen if his youth took place a couple of decades before yours.

13. Your Friends

He won’t be able to mesh easily with your crowd and will stick out like a graying, sore thumb at parties attended by fresh-faced 25-year-olds.

14. His Friends

Likewise for you at his friends’ gatherings.

15. His Friends’ Wives

These women will specifically go out of their way to make you feel unwelcome in their crowd. You become an automatic threat to them by being naturally prettier and having the all-powerful asset of youth.

16. Partying

While you’re still in the phase where getting too drunk at bars and partying all night at clubs is acceptable/actually lots of fun, he gets tired by midnight.

17. People Will Mistake You For His Daughter

What could be more uncomfortable than having people mistake your husband for your father?

18. Lonely Golden Years

As depressing as this is to consider, statistics point to women living longer than their male counterparts. You significantly increase your chances of spending your last decade or so alone if you marry someone significantly older than you.

Perhaps, even after considering all of these reasons, you young women and old men who deeply care for one another remain unconvinced that your union is nothing short of perfection. Here are a few reasons why your happily ever after does lie within reach despite the difficulties you face:

1. Men Age Better Than Women

People see the whole leathery skin look as becoming on men yet repulsive on women. Though this isn’t fair, it works in favor of couples where the man’s got about 20 years on his female partner.

2. He’ll Have His Shit Together

You will be a lot less likely to worry about money and stability since your man has had years more than you to figure this stuff out. Two people attempting to make their way in the world and struggling financially in a relationship is one person too many.

3. Viagra

So maybe he won’t get able to get it up as easily as his skin continues to wrinkle. Who cares? That’s what Viagra was made for, and it’s been known to work pretty darn well.

4. True Love

“True love conquers all.” Whoever said that might just be right.

 

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