35 Things NYC Women Can’t Live Without

4/1/14 11:59AM EST

35 Things NYC Women Cant Live Without 35 Things NYC Women Cant Live Without

CW/Gossip Girl

If you take an NYC woman out of the city for a day, she’ll be entirely lost. Why? Because many of her life essentials will have either disappeared or become irrelevant. Take a look at the things that New York women just can’t live without, and you’ll see why stranding them in the suburbs would be a cruel form of torture:

1. Pepper Spray For Your Key Chain

Going out with a bunch of friends on Friday night may very well leave an NYC women stumbling home alone at 4am. Key chain mace marks a discrete and easy way to feel protected in dark, quiet city streets.

2. Power Dresses

Women in NYC have to look like they mean business, and it can’t hurt to be stylish, too.

3. At Least 6 Pairs of High Heels

These are useful for towering over the men in your life and for scaring people with the harsh click of your step as you approach from the hallways at work.

4. A Great Shoe Repair Guy

For when you wear out those heels on the unforgiving city pavement, which will happen a lot sooner than people think.

5. Portable Perfume

Smelling good after running to hop in that fleeing taxi is essential. With multiple trips a day (without the ability to go home in between), ladies in the city need this to maintain a light, clean fragrance in the face of sweaty pits.

6. Small Dog

It’s harsh to keep a large dog in a small, city apartment, but who wouldn’t benefit from the love of a furry companion? They’re also a great way to meet men in the city. And mens who also have dogs are always the nicest.

7. The Stylish Handbag That Carries Everything

Every New York woman has one of these. It doesn’t appear huge, and it acts like a fashion statement, but it contains all of her key items from extra tissues and bandaids to change and her emergency, back-up cell phone.

8. A Variety of Nail Polish Colors

Appearances are a big deal in New York, so naturally the details matter, too. People here notice if your nails are chipped and if you’ve been wearing the same color for several weeks.

9. A Familiar Date Restaurant

An NYC woman has got to have a place ready in mind when a date asks for her opinion on where to go. It makes her appear savvy and allows her to volley date questions on familiar turf. Also, the waitstaff knowing her name will solidify her place as an established New Yorker.

10. Specific Kinds of Face Lotion

Women need something to fight the smog, sludge, and weather conditions that assault the face and threaten to wrinkle it while powering through every season in the city. Maintaining a young look here is key, so women have got to have something that specifically addresses the bags under their eyes as well as something for peeling cheeks and flaking lips.

11. A French Press

Try and talk to a New York woman before she’s gotten her morning coffee fix. The results may be deadly. That’s why they’ve got to have a French press at home–because a fancier coffee maker may not fit in everyone’s tiny, NYC kitchen and because it provides an easy way to make coffee for one, independent lady before work.

12. A Gossiping Work Friend

When grabbing food in midtown during the office lunch break, NYC ladies need someone with pizzaz to get them through the otherwise drab sea of suits crawling out of corporate office buildings. A lunch companion who’s willing to spice up the 8am-6pm day with some gossip is a must-have for women in the NYC corporate world.

13. Like Four Different Social Media Accounts

If you think the city is bustling place, imagine it replicated online. To stay afloat in the city’s working and social world, ladies have to have their LinkedIn for work, their Twitter for play, their Facebook for friends, their Pinterest for finding apartment decor, etc…

14. Wealthy NYC Men

Of course, New York women are a particularly independent breed–they’ve got no choice in this cut-throat city if they want to get ahead. However, the wealthy men in the city who bob around will wind up at the same bars as ladies looking for drinks. These men help lift the financial burden when it comes to buying rounds or getting that taxi ride home. Also, it’s fun to “collect” different types of dates in the city and check out some of their fancy, West Village apartments.

15. Sunglasses

It can benefit women in this city to appear as impenetrable fortresses. Sunglasses help accomplish this feat. If you see a woman not wearing sunglasses during the summer in New York, she’s probably not a New Yorker.

16. The Latest Designer Clothing

It’s New York. Duh.

17. Gym Membership

Staying fit in the winter months is otherwise very difficult in the unforgiving city.

18. On-the-Go Makeup Kit

It lives in a small pouch in a woman’s Stylish Handbag That Carries Everything so it can be whipped out for use at any moment.

19. Lots of Black Clothing

Colors show weakness.

20. Trenchcoat

In addition to keeping the rain out of good stockings, the trenchcoat will give New York women formidable figures.

21. Some Item That’s Animal Print

Providing some necessary edge to any NYC lady’s wardrobe, the leopard print scarf or the dress with zebra accents is key to whip out for a wild Friday with the girls or to add something to an otherwise all-black outfit.

22. Out of the City Refuge

It may not be in the Hamptons, but women in this city need a place with fresh air where they can escape when the time is right. A friend with a Hamptons house is always, of course, preferable.

23. Xanax

Relaxing can be very difficult to accomplish in this city. Warning: Do not use without prescription.

24. Weekend Wardrobe

Dressing for the weekend here is a lot different than dressing for work or for casual afternoons in your own apartment. It’s also different from casually kicking it at some bar in the suburbs. Women here need a whole, separate wardrobe to distinguish work and play. Even dive bars require your best jeans and a shirt that looks casual but actually has a designer name on the label.

25. VIP Access

To go with the weekend attire, NYC women need a place where they can cut to the front of the line to show it off. Attractive NYC women don’t wait to get into places.

26. Trader Joe’s

They have a million “healthier” eating options and probably serve as the cheapest one-stop grocery shopping around. They also stock plenty of small indulgences, like miniature ice cream sandwiches that you can eat without feeling like you’re digging into a pint all by yourself.

27. Shopping That’s Within A Block of Their Apartments

Watch as an NYC woman wrinkles her nose like clockwork every time she visits a friend outside of the city and realizes they have to drive for half an hour to get to the nearest mall. Gross.

28. Their Doormen

They know who to let into your apartment and who not to, they can help screen your blind dates, and they help you carry your many bags from the street to the elevator. It’s like having a really attentive boyfriend without any of the annoying parts.

29. Facial Wipes

Women are supposed to appear fresh-faced at all times, even when they’re constantly exposed to subway grime and sidewalk grit. Having these constantly handy in your purse keeps you looking fresh, especially in the suffocating summer heat.

30. Credit Card(s)

New York is a city centered around consumers, whether you like it or not. A second credit card may be a good idea in case New York ladies max out the first one…

31. Taxis

NYC women somehow tend to have a lot of physical baggage, whether it’s recently purchased items or extra clothing layers for different phases of the day. Ladies in this city are spoiled by cars that will pick them up at a moment’s notice and bring them anywhere. This is especially crucial late at night, when you don’t know what/who else may lurking outside. And they help you get places without getting your hair wet.

32. Several FroYo Establishments Per Block

NYC women love their frozen yogurt. Being able to choose between a Pinkberry, a 16 Handles, and a Tasti D-Lite is a uniquely NYC privilege.

33. Comfy Flats

Though many NYC women do it, racing down city streets in high heels is not always practical. The comfy flats are essential for women to wear while racing to work/their friend’s cocktail party before donning the four-inch heels.

34. A Seamless Account

They need their ovens for storing excess shoes (if you believe the “Sex and the City” hype), so regularly ordering in is a must.

35. Spare Keys to Her Best Friend’s Apartment

An NYC woman never knows when she’ll end up having to spend the night at a trusted friend’s place. Things get crazy in the city, and having a second place to call your home here gives you a chance to freshen up in a more convenient location before a night out or an alternate place to run to when you need to escape the seething streets.

 
 
11 comments
Dashryder56
Dashryder56

I can't tell if this article is supposed to be satire....I sure to hell hope so because if it's serious this is really really bad.  All "List" articles are bad, but if this isn't satire this is the worst.  Not one of the things on the list apply to a wide range of people.  This is like some girl is angry and wrote all of the things she feels are her best traits when really just ignorant annoying things nobody takes seriously.


So it has to be satire, written by a girl who hates single women in NYC, because nothing is flattering in the list for single women above

MuscleCuisine
MuscleCuisine

as a New Yorker born and raised I have to say that this article makes me sick to my stomach..please never attempt to write again..This toxic cliche filth is a disgrace to this site. I'll be sure to avoid this rubbish in the future

ValHeartday
ValHeartday

Obviously the writer is just a spoiled brat. It comes across clear as day. Thank's for never again pretending to speak for a demographic you obviously know nothing about lady!

jhantho45
jhantho45

seriously,, who writes this crap??!

fireinthemountain
fireinthemountain

Whilst the ladies commenting are rightfully seeing this as revolting (and it is), as a man who is hoping to settle down I am glad someone sat down and wrote it all. Thank you Jessica. You spelled out exactly the sort of women a sane man should never marry!


jenny1991
jenny1991

As a career woman myself, I am disgusted by this article.  I climb the corporate ladder with dignity and class and I do not appreciate being vouched as a bitchy hoe who cares about money, looks, and sex.  In the REAL world, the most successful women happen to be married, have kids, and preach wisdom and kindness.  Many of my mentors have always been there for me and would never give me such advice as to "I don't need men" and that I should be able to tell the job of a man from the shirt that he wears.  They would encourage me to learn new things, always take on challenges, and help my community.


This is NOT how you should pay homage to a NYer woman.  The better of us do work hard and wear weapons on our feet. But just because we are stunningly beautiful and diligent does not make it OKAY for us to think that we should feel ENTITLED.  MEN CERTAINLY ARE NOT OBLIGATED TO SERVE US and VICE VERSA.


Instead, you should be writing about how some NY women (maybe NOT you) work hard to balance work, life, and everything in between... and how we still manage to care about our looks and try to make those around us happy.  We, as women, deserve some respect because we work hard on all spheres --- NOT because we can afford the glitz and the glam and as a result, don't need a man.  


Sabraha1
Sabraha1

The death of journalism.

ree10101
ree10101

@jenny1991  I agree with everything you wrote except for "the most successful women happen to be married, have kids..." Success comes in all different shapes and sizes. Being married and having kids do not have to be part of that equation. 

Become Richer, Smarter And Funnier

Get Our Best Stories Delivered To Your Inbox

Get Your Daily Dose Now For Free

No thanks, i don’t want to receive awesome stuff