Even though it is no longer our nation’s most popular sport, baseball games are still a popular way to justify drinking $9 beers at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Wednesday. Unfortunately, baseball is boring as shit, so after that fifth or sixth beer you need to make things a little more interesting. One way to make the day more exciting is to ignore the obligatory disclaimer from the P.A. man: “Warning: If you enter the field of play you will be prosecuted.” The motivations behind the act of running onto the baseball field vary on a case-to-case basis. Thanks to the marvels of the internet, these morons’ terrible decisions will last forever. Let’s take a look back at some successful and not-so-successful baseball streakers.
Chicagoans are always quick to remember the plight of William Ligue and his son. This father-and-son tag-team shithead combo realized the error of their ways when they bought two tickets to go see the White Sox play against the Kansas City Royals. Incapable of venting their anger in a more healthy way, William Ligue Jr., then 35, and his then-15-year-old son decided to rush the field and ambush the Royal’s first-base coach, because why not?
This genius dared himself to rush the field at the 2013 All-Star Game. His motivation? He wrote a tweet that said “If this tweet gets 1,000 Re-tweets I’ll run onto the field.” It got more than 1,000 re-tweets and now our hero faces up to a year in prison.
In this age of technology and social media, morons will stop at nothing to get electronic attention. This stupidity transcends gender lines. This future Nobel Prize candidate decided to make a Vine of herself running onto the field at the College World Series. Congratulations, your 15 minutes of fame cost you a $1,500 fine (and her mom totally grounded her for the rest of summer.)
Sometimes, fans care so deeply about their team that they will stop at nothing to galvanize their favorite ball club and lead them to victory. Running out onto the field waving a rally towel is a good way to inspire your favorite team to victory. Trying to dodge 9 security guards while taunting them with a rally towel is a fantastic way to get tazed.
When you’re a Kansas City Royals fan, you have to invent ways to keep the game interesting. Running out to the mound, stealing a rosin bag, and breaking the ankles of a security guard is a hilarious way to do so. Unfortunately, many television networks have a policy of cutting the cameras away when an idiot runs out onto the field, so we don’t get to see the aftermath of this meathead’s adventure. We can only assume that it did not end well for our fair hero.
Thankfully for us, very frequently the cameras stay on the idiot streaker as he runs onto the field. The Rockies must run on a shoestring budget: their groundskeepers have to pull double duty as security guards.
Protecting the plate should be the catcher’s job. This ump shows the young bloods how it’s done.
Like a dog who chases a bird, most field-rushers have no idea what the hell to do once they actually get onto the field. This guy knew exactly what he wanted: a fist bump from Nick Swisher (who looks like he wants nothing to do with this goon.)
This guy also knew what he wanted upon entering the field of play: an impromptu meet-and-greet with Ichiro Suzuki. He did not get what he wanted.
This poor fan just wanted to lead his beloved Red Sox on to victory. Instead, he got smashed by a wicked awesome angle tackle. Poor bastard never saw it coming.
This Blue Jays fan decided that clothing is overrated. He rushes in by the right field warning track, and promptly sheds his garments to reveal an inspiring motto scribbled on his back and chest. This man will be President someday.
In this next video, this dipshit Orioles fan got to run around the field for a while. These police officers needed to detain this guy, but they wanted to exert the least possible amount of effort needed to cuff this moron.
This future astronaut took a break from studying rocket science to take in a Red Sox-Mariners game at Safeco Field in Seattle. Obviously, the ballgame, and his shirt were much too boring for him. He had to take matters into his own hands and rush the field. He got a $5,000 fine for his trouble.
Many baseball streakers somehow lose their shirt before or during they invade the field of play. This Florida surfer bro got completely naked before running out into the middle of a Marlins-Cubs Game at Marlins Park. He hilariously exaggerates whether he’s going to juke left or right, ultimately opting to attempt a daring slide between the security guard’s legs. Mercifully, he cups his balls with his hand upon being arrested.
Once in a great while, the streaker escapes the throng of security guards and off-duty police officers guarding the stadium. After this, the people who designed the Astros ballpark have to regret that asinine hill they decided to put in center field. Look at him go!
We will soon take a look at the best streakers in football, basketball, and international sporting events. Stay tuned!