Dos And Don’ts Of A One-Night Stand

Image via Shutterstock

There are times when sex is just that: sex. No prolonged emotions, no strings attached, no post-coital phone number exchange and certainly no breakfast the next morning. We call these beautiful (and, OK, sometimes messy, impersonal, or awkward) instances of sex in its purest, simplest form “the one-night stand,” and when we experience them, we must do all that is in our power not to screw them up.

Here are some things to do to maintain the essence of the one-night stand:

Do Use A Condom

The purpose of the one-night stand is that it ends when it ends. Period. You don’t want to carry any baggage from the evening, especially if that baggage manifests as genital warts or an unwanted pregnancy.

Do Let Loose

Bridesmaids/via

Bridesmaids/via giphy

You’re never going to see this person again, so why not let your freak flag fly? Take the opportunity to experiment with those sexual fantasies you wouldn’t dare chance at the end of even a third or fourth date (as long as your one-night partner is into it). It’s unlikely you’ll regret trying something new, and it will make you feel more comfortable next time you dare to whip out an exotic move.

Do Leave A Note

Bridesmaids/via

Bridesmaids/via ajhman.tumblr.com

If you slip out in the middle of the night/before the person wakes up in the morning (assuming you are in their bed and not the other way around… it’s always a bad idea to leave a stranger with full reign of your empty home), leave a note. It’s a harmless, noncommittal gesture that communicates nothing but kindness. Saying, “Had a great time last night,” with another line that mentions some small detail of the evening will prevent the other person from feeling used; the gesture shows that you enjoyed your time together but are happy to confine that good time to one evening only.

Of course, some actions can turn a one-night stand into a longstanding nightmare. Here are a couple of things to avoid during this singular rendezvous:

Don’t Exchange Numbers

Saved By The Bell/via

Saved By The Bell/via giphy

That officially takes it out of the one-night realm. If you don’t plan on seeing the person again, there is no need to mislead them into thinking you will, nor is there a need to send a text message congratulating them on their abilities in the sack.

Don’t Say, “I Love You”

The Office/ via

The Office/ via thegiflibrary.tumblr.com

This may sound silly, but sometimes in the throes of passion, little phrases like that can slip out of our panting mouths. You may feel like you love the person you’re on top of at the moment, but saying so could turn a one-night stand into a stage one clinger situation.


Don’t Do It With Someone Who Runs In Your Social Circles

NBC/via

NBC/via imgur

You will inevitably see them again, and whether or not it ends up being awkward, you’ve still overstepped the one-night boundary.

Don’t Give Away Too Much Personal Information

You may be drunk and decide to ramble, or you may just feel relieved to be able to dish to a total stranger. Either way, it’s a bad idea. Who knows where this person may pop up later on in your life? That embarrassing DUI you spilled about may not be so funny when it turns out the person you slept with is interviewing you for your dream job.

Keep in mind the fact that every one-night stand is unique, and you can never predict what you’ll find when a stranger makes his or her way into your sex life. These basic guidelines may fall short of preparing you for the surprise dominatrix you bring home or the really convincing drag queen who ends up exposing a little (or big) something unexpected before making it into your bedroom. However, with some creativity, those situations should not be much harder to handle than your standard one-night deal.