Fellas: Here’s 25 Ways To Tell If You’re In Love

3/14/14 11:00AM EST

Fellas Heres 25 Ways To Tell If Youre In Love Fellas: Heres 25 Ways To Tell If Youre In Love

Sony Pictures/Friends With Benefits

Hey, it happens to the best of us. One minute, you’re perfectly happy living the single life and enjoying all the freedom and independence that comes with it. You do whatever you want all the time, you eat whatever you feel like, bang whoever will let you. Life is good.

But then, out of nowhere, you stumble upon someone who makes you think about giving all that up and settling down for good. She’s different from every other girl you’ve ever been with, you feel like you’ve known her forever and now that you’ve been lucky enough to find her, you don’t want to let her go.

Your friends make fun of you, because they’re guys and that means they’re pre-conditioned to believe (or at least publically profess) that true love is for pussies. But even the most cynical among them would probably admit under duress that we’re all looking for that special someone ourselves, so fuck ‘em.

Love, however, is a complicated beast, and if you’ve been a bachelor for a long time, you may not recognize it when you’re in it. So here’s a little list of some ways to tell if she’s really the one. If even half of these seem familiar, then I got news for you, slappy—you’re in love.

1. You Miss Her When She’s Not Around

Whether she’s leaving town on business, going back to her place on Sunday night or just getting up off the couch to use the bathroom, you miss her. The minute she’s gone, all your thoughts turn to her and you want her back by your side again.

2. You Start Eating Right And Working Out More

Sometimes when we’re single, we let things get a little soft and flabby, living off pizza three times a week and frequently foregoing visits to the gym. But when you’re with the right person, you always want to look and feel your best. You’re crazy attracted to her and you’re willing to do whatever you can to ensure she feels the same way about you.

3. You Think About Her When You Jerk Off

Not every time, obviously, but if the girl you’re actually screwing in real life also starts making appearances in your fantasies, that’s a pretty good sign.

4. You Want To Impress Her Parents

Unless she’s got some serious issues, she gives a damn what her parents think about who she’s dating. If it’s just casual, you don’t want to go anywhere near her folks, but if it’s the real thing, you not only want to meet them, you want them to like you. So get a haircut and iron your shirt—you’ve got people to impress.

5. You’re Willing To Sit Through Chick Flicks

Under normal circumstances, these things are intolerable. There’s hardly ever any boobs or car chases to keep your interest up. But if you’re in love, you’re more than willing to sit on the couch to watch whatever Kate Hudson or Rachel McAdams bullshit she wants to see.

6. You Spend Less Time With Your Friends

You’d rather spend most nights having candlelit dinners than hitting the strip clubs with the boys, and that’s perfectly fine. Just make sure you make time for guys’ nights every once in a while. You don’t want to lose yourself in the relationship. If it doesn’t work out for whatever reason, you might find yourself flying solo.

7. You Delete Your Booty Calls From Your Phone

If she’s Miss Right, then you find yourself willing to part with all the Miss Right Nows. In fact, you start wondering what you ever saw in them in the first place. Well—that’s not really true. You knew what they were good for. But now the thought of spending a few hours with these girls seems skeevy and depressing. You don’t need them anymore.

8. You Actually LIKE Her

A lot of times, we pretend to be interested in whatever a girl is saying because we’re trying to bang her. But with this one, you find that you actually ARE interested. You like talking to her, you like hanging out with her. You like what you have in common and you like the ways you’re different. You can let your guard down and be yourself, like you do with your buddies.

9. You Watch Less Porn

I didn’t say NO porn. Just… less.

10. You Don’t Mind So Much When You Find A Box Of Tampons In Your Bathroom

This is actually a pretty good test. When a male bathroom is violated by such a womanly item, it can cause feelings varying from disgust to rage if it doesn’t belong to the right girl. If you love her, though, you don’t really care. In fact, you kind of like that she feels comfortable leaving her monthly supplies over at your house. It means she plans on sticking around for a while and that’s what you want.

11. When You Talk About Your Sex Life With The Guys, You Leave Out The Details

When you’re in love with a girl, you don’t want your friends to see her as just your latest cum-bucket. You’re perfectly fine talking about the frequency and mind-blowing nature of the sex, but when it comes to the graphic nature of all the filthy things you do to each other, you leave your buddies in the dark.

12. Money Is No Object

When you’re not that into a girl, you tend to add up every little penny you drop on a date or a gift and try to figure out if she’s worth what you’re spending on her. When it’s the right girl, though, you don’t care. Hell, you want to spend the money on her.

13. You Like Showing Her Off

Whether it’s for your friends, family or total strangers, you’re proud to have this one by your side. You feel like it elevates your status that she’s with you. And it’s not just because she’s super-hot. She’s the total package and you want everyone around to know that she chose you

14. You Find Yourself Thinking Of The Future

When you’re just messing around, you sure as hell aren’t going to make any long-term plans. Even buying tickets to a concert six weeks away feels like a huge risk. But if you’re having thoughts of family, weekends away, maybe even moving to the suburbs…well, chances are, she’s a keeper.

15. You Care What She Thinks

Not just what she thinks about you, what she thinks about everything. You care about and respect her religious and political views. You watch movies and read books that she recommends. You consider her endorsement to be a stamp of approval. Maybe you don’t always agree with her, but you respect her opinion.

16. You Know Her Flaws And You Don’t Care

She’s not perfect, but neither are you. When you’re looking for reasons not to be with someone, you tend to focus on their flaws as reasons to hit the bricks. But if you actually find her annoying laugh to be  charming and you think that crooked front tooth is really cute, you’re done, son.

17. You Can Tell Her Anything

You’re upfront and honest about your sexual history, your secret hopes and dreams, that time you killed a guy, etc. You want her to know everything about you and accept you for it. And if she can handle whatever you throw at her, then odds are she loves you, too.

18. You Grow Up

When you experience actual grown-up feelings like love, you start to assess your lifestyle. If you’ve been staying with your mom or acting like life’s one big frat party, the right woman can make you start thinking about putting childish things away and to start acting like a goddamn adult. Out with the beer bong and paper plates, in with the martini kit and china.

19. When You Have A Fight, You Try To Work It Out, Not Just Win

First off, if you’re fighting at all, you can bet that you already have more than a passing interest in this girl. When we don’t give a good goddamn about her, it’s easier just to say fuck it and not even bother arguing. But if you actually care about coming to an agreement rather than just being “right,” it means you have long term goals in mind.

20. You’re A Basket Case

Robert Palmer got it right. You can’t sleep, you can’t eat, your mind is always racing and you’re overcome with alternating waves of giddiness and nervousness. It’s weird that falling in love turns you into an emotional wreck and makes it hard to focus on your work, your studies, anything but her, really. But if you find that you’ve suddenly become a blithering idiot, you’re a lucky man.

21. You Want To Be A Better Person

This one’s kinda corny, but it’s true. We tend to put the people we love on pedestals, and then try to make ourselves worthy of them. Like most things in life, this isn’t bad unless you go overboard with it, but genuinely wanting to lead a better life is always a good thing, and if she’s bringing that out in you, stay with her.

22. You’re Willing To Make Compromises

Those of us who are set in our ways claim that we’ll never compromise anything, and we act like that’s a virtue. But if you stick to your guns on that, you’ll always be alone. Relationships are all about compromise, and if you’re letting some things slide to keep her happy, then you’re growing up. Just make sure you know the difference between compromise and sacrifice, because while the formal is crucial, the latter is something you want to avoid.

23. You’re Protective Of Her

You’re her knight in shining armor and all that shit, and you take that responsibility seriously. You won’t let her fend for herself if she’s being picked on, if she’s having a rough time, you do what you can to alleviate her stress. You care about her and want her to be safe—and to know you’ll always be there for her.

24. You’re Happy

Suddenly realizing you’re happy is a weird feeling. You may have thought you were happy before, but you were wrong. Now that you’re with her, the sky is bluer, the grass is greener, people are nicer. She’s having a positive effect on you and your outlook on life and that’s a really great thing.

25. When The Excitement Wears Off, You Still Want To Be With Her

A lot of the dizzying feelings you get from being in love are the same as if you were just infatuated. But when “the thrill is gone” as they say, and you’ve gone from having sex twice a day to twice a week, if you still want to be with her and only her, I got news for you, buddy. You’re sorry ass is in love.

 
 
35 comments
wimplo22
wimplo22

I think the overall article is innocuous and  basically right on, if a bit obvious (if you're an adult person); don't be mean, don't be condescending, use constructive criticism, etc, etc.  Based on a lot of the reaction it sounds like more people need that advice than I would have thought.

Guys, if you're with a girl that you feel you need (should) to treat like shit to keep her around then bounce her fast...she's damaged; if you're treating her like shit, you're an asshole and you need to unfuck yourself...you're damaged because you feel the need to degrade others to make yourself feel better.  Women, if you are with a guy that treats you like shit and you stay...you're damaged; break up and work on the old self-esteem, you deserve better...at least you need to believe you do...or you won't get it.


My only complaint was that men paying for all dinners is crap if you believe in gender equality.  In an adult relationship you share.  You can't be cool with gender roles when they're convenient and then claim that they're bullshit when they don't benefit you.

SarahKrafft
SarahKrafft

I agree with basically everything here as well as most of the ideas in the controversial post he made about men. Not a big deal people. It's a generalization, and if you would just calm down you would realize you have related to most of this, or you have been through a lot of failed relationships.

Crawn1ck
Crawn1ck

What the fuck? This is the most biased piece of shit article I've ever read. It's not only clear a woman wrote this, but it's clear she has negative feminist ideologies corrupting her mind. Chuck Henderson is obviously a pen name.


19 and 29 bother me the most. So the guy paying all the time is what constitutes his manliness? And she can comment on my body but I can't comment on hers??? What the fuck. You both should stay aesthetically appealing for each other. If she's allowed to comment on me, I can comment on her.

ShadowMonsta
ShadowMonsta

aaanndd I have concluded that  a female wrote this. XD

ChelseaMay
ChelseaMay

 I don't think this is the horrible piece of garbage people are making it out to be and some of these are clearly satirical.  I find it amusing so many men claim feminists are "touchy and hypersensitive" because many women will get upset when someone posts a satirical comic on treating a woman like shit but the moment a man posts something like this, they hit the ceiling.


The really sad thing is many of the men on here seem to equate being respectful towards your partner as being a "pussy."  I suppose a real man treats his woman like garbage, criticizes her, never admits he was wrong, doesn't listen to her or pay attention to her.  Because you're a MAN and you don't have to put up with that shit, right?  


I would never treat my man like that or even entertain the thought of staying with a guy who treated me like that.  It's about mutual respect.  What I don't like about this article is how it occasionally implies that men and women shouldn't be treated the same way (i.e., she can criticize your body shape but you can't criticize hers) even though the author appears to do this in an attempt at satire.  I wouldn't criticize my partner and he wouldn't criticize me - we're both functional adults who are perfectly capable of being responsible for our own health.  Etc.

killakolt
killakolt

this is retarded lol. its definitely written by a feminist who wants men to bend over and kiss every girls ass. not going to happen CUNT. plus if half that shit sets the writer off, she's a control freak psycho bitch who wants people to suck up to her cause she can't deal with people being real.

HarrisonHume
HarrisonHume

I like how half of those things aren't bad and most of those things depend on the person.

Buuuuuuullshit.

DMC505
DMC505

It is posts like this that give the word/movement feminist a bad connotation/reputation. We will never be seen as equals if people keep spewing this garbage. A couple should be able to speak honestly and freely with each other. As for the hurtful language, if you truly care for one another, those won't be part of the conversation. I am sick of these gender rolls for both men and women!

ShawnWM
ShawnWM

Geez  thank you to the oppressive feminist movement nice enough to tell us guys what to say to women.. do you want my list of what women could say to men?? lol...

How about this.. REMOVE yourselves from the pedestal you have chosen to hop up on and unplug head from butt and realize we are all equals and simply need to be treated with the same care and respect you would hope to be treated with yourself.. if that's not enough princess.. then go back to bed and await prince charming's kiss..  good luck.

vaalix
vaalix

Sounds like some dumb trendy feminist wrote this garbage.. Oh wait I guess it was some metro sexual guy who is pumped full of estrogen mimicking chemicals, which are coursing through his veins making him get in touch with his inner girl... No matter how hard the main stream media wants to pussify men, it just ain't happening chucky.. Maybe you should change your name to Charlotte.. Or Dorothy.. Cause you ain't in Kansas no more fool...

AdamJohnson2
AdamJohnson2

Somehow this accomplishes both trying to aspire to gender equality and gender roles. WTF?


NickSeemann
NickSeemann

A lot of these are really dumb, hypocritical and sexist.


So guys have to be completely self-confident but girls can bitch and whine about "OMG I'm so fat, omg blah blah girl angst" but if I guy ever feels down that's wrong?


Also it's 2014, shit has changed, women can pay for themselves or even treat their boyfriend to dinner from time to time. By insisting on paying for them all the time you imply they need you to survive and can't support themselves.


"She can criticize your body shape, hers is off-limits." Fuck that, both can constructively criticize each other in that regard. Like yeah neither should be like "Hey you look like a fat ass", but there are nice ways of saying hey I am less attracted to you because you aren't as healthy and fit anymore.


They don't want you to say no, and to always say "i'm sorry" and claim the fault, nopenopenope. Sorry but that would be denying my agency (that's a word feminists love to say), and I am not going to fold and claim fault for something when I know I am right.

isntnsync
isntnsync

This is a little sexist.. "She can criticize your body shape.. hers is off limits..". A lot of this list offended me as a woman. There are just things you shouldn't say to other PEOPLE not just a woman or your lover, like "have you gained weight?" (in most contexts) and no one should really call anyone else a cunt. Women understand the word no, and the majority of this list is just things not to say unless you're a dumbass or an asshole. This is not a man/woman thing. It's a humanity thing. Everyone is insecure sometimes, everyone needs attention, no one likes being insulted, everyone wants to finish during sex. A real woman with self esteem will not expect you to treat her better than she treats you. Relationships should be heavily based in trust and equality, not hiding your number of exes or treating her better than she treats you. If she calls you fat or insults you or asks you "are you going to eat all that?" dump the bitch. That's not a "stereotypical woman", and it's not just a bad girlfriend, it's a bad PERSON. 

PS I hope everyone here knows that Feminism is the belief that women should be treated as equals. Feminists do NOT believe women are better than men. Feminism is when a WOMAN reads "let your girlfriend treat you like shit but never do it to her unless you want to get dumped" and SHE is offended. That's unequal and mean, to sound naive.

NathanGRook
NathanGRook

This is honestly the dumbest list i've seen in a while.

sara_g
sara_g

#1 do you really think women don't understand the word "no"? If this bullshit is what you have learned from past dating experiences then I must assume you have only dated spoiled little girls and not women. If you switched the genders in this whole article men would be pretty offended.

kristinabergie
kristinabergie

#20: Oh hella you don't be referring to a woman as stupid. 

>rest of the list talks about how guys don't know shit. 

Hey dudes, just don't date insecure women with romanticized views of a relationship with unrealistic expectations. If you're going to ask her to marry you, for instance, she's probably aware of your past relationships and quite peaceful with them. Since that is something that should be apparent if you trust someone enough to marry them in the first place. 

Stupid articles pattering to whiney teenagers about their three month relationships and their problems. Adult women should really be above this garbage. 

cavin79
cavin79

Suckers!! An insecure girl will like most of this.  Be true and expect your woman to treat you the same way you want to be treated.  I don't want her to feed me bullshit just like I wouldn't feed her bullshit.  If you don't have that relationship with your woman, then you probably have the wrong woman.  Women want the TRUTH, not what some blog is telling you to tell her.  THANK GOD I finally have that woman that I can be 100% honest with and can expect the same in return! 

SebastianDanielLiu
SebastianDanielLiu

lol this articles terrible :P this advice is for men with no self respect who will bend over backwards to do anything a girl wants haha guys like that marry the first girl that will let him. Being cocky works way better and will land you a more laid back and fun to be around girl with a sense of humor 

Daktal420
Daktal420

Sorry Chuck Henderson, but this article is a flop. The advice you give is the same tired advice men have been handing down since your grandfather's day. Its the kind of advice you hear from the guy who has never been laid, never had a serious relationship, can't understand why assholes get the girl and swears that THIS is how he'd treat a girl if he had one.

ThomasJaworski
ThomasJaworski

Yea this is a terrible, sexist, pathetic article.  If women keep pushing like this they will never be treated equally.  This is the reason stereotypes and gender roles exist.

ag11600
ag11600

This is pathetic. You shouldn't be expected to pay for every meal. Relationships are give and take. And if you're the only one who's giving there's something wrong. Not to say that if she keeps offering and you pay anyway, that's fine. You don't want to be with a girl that expects you to pay for everything. That shits gonna get old real quick. 


Love how this was written by a man who has THAT much experience dating women he can come up with 30 things not to say, but only 5 to say. 


Quit coming up with bull shit lists that mean nothing and go contribute something to society, Chuck.

wimplo22
wimplo22

I love that men should always pay...so feminism is dead, right?  I think independent women should pay their fair share.

Cupcakecrusader
Cupcakecrusader

While this list may be a silly list for what men "shouldn't" say you going off with name calling is definitelynot alright. Man, woman, or other you should talk to other humans with respect. Calling anyone a cunt or a psycho bitch isn't "being real" its being rude.

sara_g
sara_g

I don't know many women named chuck but this is the exact opposite of what a feminist would write.

AllisonNichole
AllisonNichole

Aside from the terrific and most poignant point that feminism is actuallya movement to advocate for equality across sexes, which you ironically suggested as an alternative... You also seem to have mistakenly assumed that this article was written by a woman, which is not the case. If you're going to be hateful, at least make sure you're educated on the subject. You might find yourself with a newfound abundance of energy due to your lack of ear-smoking internet rage.

sara_g
sara_g

the feminist movement isn't meant to be oppressive but liberating for women. we don't spend our free time deciding what we hate most about men but how men and women- together - can move past limiting stereotypes and gender roles. the author of this article is a man and obviously not a feminist but he made men and women both look bad because most men wouldn't agree with this shit (I would assume) and I know most women would think this article is stupid.

SarahKrafft
SarahKrafft

@NickSeemann Not all women are as whiny or sensitive as you think.  Also, I've taken fault of an argument many times just to say I understand and keep the peace. When you're with someone long enough, and the conversation's been had before, it saves a lot of time and aggravation just to apologize.

SarahKrafft
SarahKrafft

@ZacharyStearns You can. Most of the time, women have sex as often as you like just to make sure you don't get it elsewhere. Women tend to savor the arousal and let it build for a while (even days) before the release. Hence foreplay. 

Cupcakecrusader
Cupcakecrusader

I completely agree with you. If a man feels like he can't be honest with his girlfriend without her getting super angry then he probably needs a new girlfriend. You should always be considerate when talking to your girlfriend but she should also be considerate to you. And no guy should have to have sex with a girl when he isn't in the mood. That was the least funny one on the list.

SarahKrafft
SarahKrafft

@cavin79 Thank goodness somebody appreciates honestly. Sometimes it's a curse.

SarahKrafft
SarahKrafft

@ag11600 I agree, I don't think men should be required to pay for everything. It sounds too much like prostitution. But then again, that;s why rich men get all the women. Inside of a gold digger, you will find a shy prostitute looking for one generous customer.

AllisonNichole
AllisonNichole

@Women_In_The_Kitchen I was practically in a blackout hormonal rage. It's like my throbbing uterus takes over all executive functioning. I also very much enjoy your advance  style of humor. With any luck, you'll continue to spread your delight whilst simultaneously remembering to breath.

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