Florida Woman Calls 911 For Emergency: ‘I Haven’t Been Penetrated In Years’

2/26/14 11:51AM EST

Punta Gorda Police Department

Punta Gorda Police Department

A 58-year-old Punta Gorda, Florida resident reportedly called the police this past Friday because she wanted to get some action, according to The Smoking Gun. Around 6pm on February 21st, the intoxicated Maria Montenez-Colon called 911 “because she wanted her Corvette back.” Turns out she was looking for something other than a car.

When the officer arrived on the scene, Montenez-Colon sexually harassed him, making physical contact along with comments like, “I haven’t been penetrated in years.” After the officer advised Montenez-Colon not to call 911 unless in the case of emergencies, he left her residence.

Less than an hour later, however, the Florida woman made a second 911 call complaining about the officer’s behavior and requested visit from different police personnel. When police came back to her home, they arrested Montenez-Colon and booked her at the county jail for making false 911 calls.

Some sympathize with the woman’s actions, stating that if the defendant “is guilty of anything, it’s being a little too honest,” while an MTV blog jokes that “it can’t be that hard to pick up guys at the nearest Dunkin’ Donuts.” Either way, the woman was ultimately arrested for her misuse of 911, not for her attempts to have sexual relations with a man in uniform.