What The Inside Of Her Apartment Says About Her

HBO/Sex In The City

Looking inside a person’s apartment is like getting a glimpse of her soul, her brain, and even a little bit of her childhood (old habits die hard). Why not use this knowledge? Instead of simply taking in the scenery of her abode with a shrug and a requisite complementary utterance, think about why there are six cookie jars sitting on top of her cabinets, or what those piles and piles of books about 17th Century French poetry might indicate about her general disposition.

In case you need help getting started, we’ll look at these more obvious connections between her apartment and her personality. You can try to piece together her psyche based on the more subtle touches (like the proximity of her shoes to the door, the material of her desk chair) later.

1. She has lots of stuffed animals… everywhere.

She still holds onto her childhood as if it were only yesterday that she left her parents’ home(s) to enter the big bad world of… gasp… college! She may have to be coddled and comforted more than your average human.

2. A bunch of her artwork is on the walls.

She’s an artist… and she’s self-assured enough to display her work. Hopefully you like it, too.

3. Her gym bag has Lululemon leggings sticking out of it.

This one is trickier. It may mean she’s into fitness, or it may mean that she’s into the image of being into fitness. Lululemon is trendy enough that it shows working out is more than just getting in shape for her — it’s a statement.

4. She has lots of photographs of her friends hanging up.

Though her friends are obviously an important part of her life, she may not get to see them so much (otherwise there would be less of a need to get a view of their faces every day in her home, you know?). She’s probably a fiercely loyal person, but she needs validation that others are loyal to her.

5. There’s a record player in her living room.

She either knows good music or wants you to know that she knows good music… or both. The two aren’t mutually exclusive. This also means she likes to play host and share the joy of her album collection with others. The record player would just be in her bedroom, otherwise, for her own personal enjoyment.

6. Everything is from Ikea.

She’s a working girl. She doesn’t have time for extensive home design because her focus is other things, like her career. Or she doesn’t just have an interior-design bone in her body.

7. None of the dishes/cups match.

She’s moved around a lot and lived with a number of different people. Dishes and cups got shuffled around in each move, leaving her with a collection filled with nostalgia, but lacking in symmetry.

8. Her refrigerator is covered with magnets, notes, and photographs.

She has hoarding tendencies, but she knows how to keep them under control… assuming the rest of her apartment doesn’t look like her refrigerator. Her sentimentality forces her to keep old notes that made her laugh and wedding invitations, even if she attended the reception over a year ago.

9. All the art/posters hanging on her wall are in frames.

Having realized she no longer lives in a college dorm, this woman is a true adult. Give her a pat on the back as a sincere congratulation for having reached this milestone.

10. Everything in her apartment is covered with dust.

She has a vibrant social life and doesn’t necessarily run home to play house when she gets out of work/school/etc. Either that or she has, like, the opposite of allergies and doesn’t pay attention to detail.

11. There’s tin foil covering her windows.

The aliens are coming!!! Or she’s a spy and worried about the government listening in on her conversations. Those are literally the only two possibilities. Either way, exciting!!

12. A TV is the centerpiece of her living room.

She watches it a lot. It is likely, but not definite, that more than one of her nights a week will end with her curled up on the couch, watching a movie.

13. She has two couches/multiple chairs that face each other directly in her main room.

Conversation is more valued than silent viewing time in this abode. Communal philosophical pursuits abound when guests are over.

14. She has several different shades of lipsticks.

This shows style. She cares about her personal presentation to the extent that she knows not only one lip color goes with every outfit (unless its your natural one, but who wears that out all the time? — is her attitude). Ultimately, this means she’s detail-oriented and tuned into her own sense of a style.

15. She has a landline.

She’s over the age of 40.

16. There are vintage ashtrays everywhere.

Don’t jump to the conclusion that she is a smoker. She may just as well be an antiques collector. (Hint: Check for ashes.)

17. There’s a baseball bat propped up in a corner.

Either she plays the sport or she’s ready to protect herself and does not take the chance of home intruders lightly.

18. Decorative pillows perch on all available seating.

She doesn’t spend that much time at home. Otherwise, she wouldn’t have so many decorative pillows, because they are a pain in the ass when you just want to plop down (on your ass) after a long day.

19. Her books all focus on a single, scholarly theme.

She’s either in college, grad school, or planning on going back to it. She’s focused and has a concrete goal for her life that acquires smarts to achieve.

20. Her coffee table books are about the best murals in major cities.

She’s not particularly inventive, as this is one of the most observed variations of coffee table book ever to grace the planet.

21. The flowers on display are dead.

She’s a fan of nostalgia, and her game is never letting go.

22. Much of her furniture is clear — plastic or glass.

She is not a fan of people playing footsy under the table.

23. There is a trunk or two per room.

She has way too many shoes, and jackets, and sweaters, and, yes, even shirts. I mean, what else did you think was in there?

24. There’s a Chanel bag on the couch.

She has enough handbags (or money) that she’d not worried about keeping her pricey purse in mint condition, casually tossing it around the apartment instead. Still, she cares about fashion and looking polished because she has a classic wardrobe staple.