13 Of The Most Ridiculous Halloween Costumes Of 2014
Some people don’t have the time or resources to make elaborate Halloween costumes, and that’s nothing to be ashamed of. Luckily, costume companies have no dignity or sense of ethics, so any costume you can imagine is probably available for purchase. Don’t believe me? Here are 13 of the most ridiculous (i.e., awesome, shameful, insanely elaborate and terrifying) Halloween costumes you can buy this year, proving that nothing is beyond the reach of the Halloween enthusiast. Reach for the sky!
1. The Hound’s Helmet
This $300 “Game of Thrones” fiberglass helmet from ThinkGeek has jaws that really open and a face that will haunt your nightmares and traumatize everyone you chase down and slaughter on the orders of Prince Joffrey.
2. Ice Bucket Challenge
This costume includes an ice cube tray, a bucket with “faux water film” and a white tulle tunic with faux ice cubes. As ridiculous as this sounds, Brands on Sale, which is selling the costume for $39.99, will donate $10 to the ALS Foundation for every costume sold, according to the Huffington Post.
3. Alien Face-Hugger
So realistic that you might trigger some deep-seated phobias in everyone who sees you with this little alien sucker clinging to your face. One size of this slithery monstrosity fits “most adult heads,” according to ThinkGeek.
4. Three-Breasted Woman
Jasmine Tridevil’s third breast was recently proved to be a hoax, but you can still dress up as her for Halloween! HalloweenCostumes.com offers a DIY solution using their fake breasts, and also suggests that you shouldn’t let your creativity stop there — rather than wearing the breasts, you can find two friends and each dress up as one giant boob. Classy!
5. Sexy “Frozen” Snowman
Yandy is, tragically, completely sold out of its sexy Olaf the snowman costume, but the horror is still widely available to view online. It involves white gloves, a fake carrot nose, thigh-high socks and some kind of white bodysuit… because nothing is sexier than a buck-toothed cartoon snowman from a children’s movie.
6. “Orange Is The New Black” Prison Uniform
This is ridiculous in an awesome way: On the one hand, it’s rare and exciting to find a Halloween costume for women that is comfortable rather than sexy. But on the other hand, this is an orange (or, if you go with the other option, beige) jumpsuit. If people wear this, you’re just asking for massive prison breaks, because no one will be able to tell the prisoners apart from the people wearing Halloween costumes. It’s what the prisoners want!!
7. Sexy Minion
Apparently, 2014 is the year in which costume manufacturers throw all their last pretenses of shame out the window and rabidly capitalize on kids’ movies by making “sexy” versions of everything, including the adorable, cuddly, asexual Minions from “Despicable Me.” Of course, Yandy calls this travesty of booty short overalls a “One-Eyed Master’s Helper,” which somehow makes it sound even more sexual.
8. Galaxy Gremlin…
… aka Yoda. Yandy does it again with their Galaxy Gremlin Costume, a short, tight wrap-around dress that reveals much more cleavage than Yoda ever did. The hood (sold separately, of course) has the familiar pointy green ears of “your favorite little character from a galaxy far, far away,” according to Yandy. It also has eyes, so when you wear it, you look like you have four eyes.
Some people have no interest in messing around with plush dinosaur suits; why would you when you can instead buy this terrifying mechanical robot dinosaur? Not only does it roar, it also has a smoke effect, a fire effect and a mouthful of sharp teeth. Don this fiberglass costume by inserting yourself into its butt and you’re guaranteed to have the best dinosaur costume on the block.
10. Flo From The Progressive Ads
Fear not, Halloween costume wearers of 2014! Spirit Halloween now makes it possible to dress up as Flo, the woman from the Progressive Insurance commercials. Now you can actually pay to inadvertently advertise for an insurance company! Yay!
Does it impress you to learn that this costume is officially licensed? Does it thrill you that instead of being a boring shark or an everyday shark attack victim, you can actually be the Sharknado? If you answered yes to these questions, then Spirit Halloween’s Sharknado Tornado costume is for you! It’s literally a tornado of sharks.
12. Bert and Ernie Skin Suits
Yes… skin suits. Spirit Halloween really finds the spirit of Halloween — the creepy, terrifying spirit — with these costumes, providing adults with the opportunity to wear a skintight bodysuit that makes them resemble a weirdly human-shaped version of “Sesame Street” characters Bert and Ernie, or perhaps someone who actually skinned Bert and Ernie and is now wearing their clothes and puppet skin.
13. AT-AT Dog Costume
Don’t leave your pets out of the fun! HalloweenCostumes.com has many options for your best friend, including this “Star Wars” imperial walker suit that perfectly captures the flailing, gangly essence of Greyhounds. You could probably use it for other breeds of dogs, too, but the long legs and rounded spine of the Greyhound is a hilariously ideal match.