Schools in and there’s nothing better than watching these life beginners stumble through the first nine months of their real lives before going back to their parents all fat and beer bloated. Finding a freshman isn’t hard. Just sit outside of Costco and look for anyone excited to enter. Here’s some other ways to spot the little shits…

1. They’re Usually Way Overdressed For Class

2. They’re Always Way Too Excited

3. If They Happen To Smoke Weed, They Will Let You Know

4. They’re Super Drunk

5. Loving Shitty Wine

6. Socially Inept

7. They Totally Get The “Miley Movement”

8. Can’t Get Enough Posters

9. No sleeves, Only Tank Tops

10. Can’t Hold Down That Liquor

11. Traveling In Packs For Protection