22 Of The Dumbest Mistakes Guys Make When They’re Trying To Impress Women

DreamsWorks Pictures/Anchorman

Most women are not easily impressed. As a result, guys tend to lay it on thick in order to gain a result in the world of dating; along with a variety of other casual arrangements. Unfortunately for you guys, your attempts at cool often come as aloof, your generosity as extravagance, and your intelligence as pretentiousness. You can avoid the following mistakes, and step one is figuring out what exactly it is you’ve been doing wrong, like…

1. Acting Too Cool

Everyone seems to try this one and it almost always backfires. Exaggerated coolness looks, on the outside, like plain, old idiocy.

2. Using Almost Any Pickup Line

Don’t use them. Sadly there is a finite number of pickup lines in this world and chances are, a girl has already heard what you’re about to tell her.

3. Texting Too Much

If you start obsessively texting a woman with whom you’ve gone on a handful of dates (or just one), you’ll scare her. She will literally drown in your waterfall of texts.

4. Texting Too Little

On the other side of the coin, pretending that you don’t give a crap via the ten-hour text delay won’t work in your favor either. Use texts as they were meant to be used—for practical communication purposes.

5. Displaying Feats Of Physical Strength

The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air/via

The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air/via asn.im

It’s kind of caveman-esque to try and impress your new lady by displaying your guns or attempting to shove a parked car (okay, probably something less dramatic) in front of her.

6. Being Overly Chivalrous

If you put your jacket in a puddle that she’s about to walk in, it could be endearing, but it also could make you look like a lunatic.

7. Pretending To Share Her Hobbies

While, in reality, knowing nothing about any of them. Don’t play a music enthusiastic if you can’t pick the bass out of a track.

8. Talking Up Your Education

Though potential employers may think it’s great that you graduated from Princeton, your new date doesn’t need to hear you repeat old Ivy League stories all night long.

9. Playing Sensitive

Since you’ve heard that all women fall head over heels for sensitive men, you should definitely cry during the movie you see on your first date, even if it’s an action thriller starring Tom Cruise… right?

10. Wooing Her With Money

First off, do you want to attract a gold digger? Secondly, if you’re in New York, chances are this woman will meet ten other guys with more money than you in a matter of minutes if she steps into the right bar, making this not the smartest angle from several perspectives (the most important being that you should be hoping to avoid shallow women).

11. Boasting About Dick Size

This is naturally unflattering and may result in disappointment; from her end and yours (when you realize you’ve been wrong to brag about your genitalia all along).

12. Spoiling Her From The Get-Go

This will set a precedent that she’s going to expect you to keep up with. This also may warrant a gold digger caution.

13. Overdoing The First Date

Taking her to a restaurant that requires near-black tie attire is not a first date activity.

14. Going In For An Over-The-Top First Kiss

Dumb & Dumber/via

Dumb & Dumber/via tumblr

Trying to impress the new lady in your life with looping, probing tongue moves during your first kiss could feel invasive to her.

15. Initiating Too Much Physical Contact Too Soon

This also may very well count as invasive in her eyes.

16. Offering/Giving A Foot Massage

Save this for when you’ve already been dating. If you go for the massage action right off the bat, you get rid of some key, pleasant surprises for later, and you might come off as a tad creepy.

17. Laying On The Flattery

Who doesn’t love to be told she’s beautiful? Who doesn’t hate being told she’s gorgeous every other second in lieu of any real conversation on a first date?

18. Using Big Words (That You Don’t Know The Meaning Of)

An impressive vocabulary will go a long way with a literary woman. Misusing the word “ordure” will not.

19. Hyper-Grooming

Getting way too dressed up for a first date screams desperation.

20. Offering To Meet Friends And Family

Suggesting that you’re every parent’s dream will portray you as too serious too soon. You don’t have to be that guy until she asks you to be.

21. Giving First Date Gifts

Unless you’ve known the woman as a friends or acquaintance, you shouldn’t be giving a near stranger presents. Even showing up with flowers might be a mistake; she could be allergic.

22. Taking Her On An Impromptu Trip

If you guys don’t know each other all too well, you could be stuck in a foreign city or country with someone you can hardly stand and travel poorly with.