Let me break it down for you. Women are really not that hard to please — as long as you understand a few essential things about what we want. Hint: sex, adoration, appreciation, communication. Master these and forever be a happy man.

1. Care about pleasing us in the bedroom.

Not all women are sexually repressed. In fact, in this day and age, many women have embraced their sexuality and would like to “get theirs,” too! It’s only fair. I’ve had far too many conversations with my girlfriends regarding various sexual frustrations — and what it comes down to is often male selfishness in bed. Men, devote more time to foreplay. My recommendation? Make sure that your lady friend is satisfied before you even get down to the main event. It is a well-known fact that it takes a whole lot more for a woman to experience an orgasm than for a man, so let’s put this into practice, people! Your sex life will be so much more gratifying, trust me.

The reality is that you need to spend more time catering to your woman. And when you do have sex and are not sure if she had as good of a time as you did (chances are she did, but she did not finish!), make sure that you offer to take care of her. Letting her know that you care about her sexual needs sometimes does the trick — at least she won’t be left thinking that sex is all about you. Always ask. And remember: Women want sex as much as — if not more than — men (at least among my friends!).

2. Bring back the makeout.

When discussing the content of this article with my best friend, she adamantly proclaimed, “BRING BACK THE MAKEOUT!” This point pretty much goes along with the one above it. More foreplay. More pre-sex time. More making out! So many men begin to make out, get turned on and BOOM! They’re ready to start the magic right then. Well, we’re not! Women enjoy making out. Bring it back!

3. ‘50 Shades of Grey’ us.

Not to make this all about sex, but, seriously; E.L. James’s “50 Shades of Grey” has ruined us. Many of us like the prospect of aggressive, domineering, throw-me-on-the-floor-hard, passionate, kinky sex. Women have sexual fantasies, too. If your old lady has a copy of this book on her nightstand, TAKE ADVANTAGE of the situation! Tie her up, talk dirty, take charge, roleplay… spice it up.

4. Open doors. We do it for you.

‘Nuff said. We still appreciate a chivalrous man.

5. Adore us.

Women want to feel adored, cherished, loved unconditionally. We wants to feel as if we are the only girl in the room — the apple of your eye — at all times. All you need to do is express your love and affection in some way each day. Compliments work wonders. “You look beautiful,” “You are so sexy,” “You are one in a million,” — ta-da, you’re in! Often that’s all it takes, too. She wants to know that she’s the only one. Use your words.

6. Consider us in decisions.

We like to feel important. We want to know that we are a priority in your life. The boys want to steal you away for a weekend? We get the house to ourselves? Let the secret celebration ensue! Personally, I love news like this. However, I also appreciate a phone call inquiring if I have anything going on that weekend. It means a lot that someone cares about your feelings in any given situation.

7. Acknowledge and appreciate us.

By nature, we are caring beings. Acknowledge the little things that the woman in your life does for you. Doing your dishes, making you food, giving you a massage after a long day, attending to your sexual needs, giving you space and friend-time — whatever it may be, if you appreciate the little things, she will keep doing them even after the honeymoon period has run its course. If you don’t, she may become resentful.

8. Communicate even if you are in a sour mood.

I HATE that I need to talk about my feelings and communicate about my day — but I do. And as far as I can tell, that is pretty much the rule among my fellow women-folk. Even if you’re not feeling particularly chatty, the worst thing you can do is turn a woman away. We understand that you need man-cave time (trust me, we need cave time, too), but it is important to us to feel heard and respected. So the best thing you can do in this situation is listen without offering advice and say something to the effect of, “Honey, I love you. You are such a sweet and thoughtful person. [Insert personal situation response here]. I had a long day and need some alone time to decompress and blow off some steam, and I don’t want to bring you down. Then when I come back we can talk and have a nice night together.” Problem solved! You have made her feel important by listening to her and letting her know that you love her; as a bonus, she won’t feel hurt that you need some time by yourself because you’ve promised to return.

9. And finally… when we tell you to leave, don’t.

Unless we ask you five times. Then you should probably leave.