I don’t know. Maybe it’s just me, but I’m not crazy about banging a chick out in public. I prefer to get down in privacy so I can really do my thing. In my experience, though, women seem to really get off on it. Or at least they like the idea. I’ve been talked into doing it three times that I can remember.

Twice, it was at the beach. The first time we were just joking around and kind of dared each other into it. The second time was because I told a girl about the first time and she got turned on by the idea. And it’s usually not a good idea to say no to your girlfriend to something you’ve done before with another girl. You know what I mean?

Now, there are pros and cons to having sex at the beach. On one hand, it’s pretty easy to get away with it without causing much of a fuss. All you have to do is go out into the ocean, pull your swimsuits to the side, and start going at it. People on the beach can see you, but for all they know, you’re just young lovers, playing and kissing in the surf. No one knows what’s really going on. Unfortunately, if you’ve ever had sex submerged in water, you know that it’s surprisingly difficult to do. You would think that the water would make things slide in and out a lot easier, but in fact, it has the exact opposite effect. I managed to get the job done both times, though.

The third time was in a club, and it was actually with the second girl I banged in the ocean. That chick was a freak. The whole night, she was telling me that she wanted to blow me in the club, and I didn’t think she was serious, but I was wrong. Now, one thing about me is that I don’t like to back down from a challenge and I sure don’t like to turn down a blowjob, so I went through with it. And yeah, it was an adventure and all that, but honestly, it felt pretty creepy. I’m not a huge fan of dance clubs in the first place, and I think the people who frequent them are a bunch of tools. But when I’m on the couch in the dark corner in the back with my dick in my girlfriend’s mouth, I don’t exactly have a lot of room to criticize anyone. I let her do it for a while, but I’d be lying if I said it ended the way these things are supposed to. I was too busy making sure people weren’t recording that shit on the iPhones. After a while, I just said “Okay, that’s enough,” then zipped up.

Now, I get the allure of public sex. It’s exciting, it’s dangerous. You could get caught at any moment. Sure, that’s fine. But women can do the whole thing with most of their modesty intact. They don’t have to take anything out, is I guess what I’m saying.

But still, if a chick wants to do it, go along with it. It’s a good thing to help a woman live out her sexual fantasies because it creates goodwill. You never know. It might even get you closer to that threesome.