The Compatibility Test: 18 Questions To Ask Yourself Before Popping The Question

20th Century Fox/Bride Wars

Choosing to spend the rest of your life with a person is the biggest commitment you’re ever going to make (barring children, divorce and getting a pet — though spouses and children tend to live longer than pets). It’s not something you can make a hasty decision about. To help you avoid getting swept up in the rush of passion, here’s a compatibility test you can take to measure the level of reason involved in your commitment:

1. Do you both want kids?

It will come as a particularly nasty surprise when, several years into the marriage, you bring up the idea and she laughs in your face, then snaps at a passing child for breathing too loudly.

2. Does she compost?

The structure of your household will matter, so if you’re into saving the environment but your significant other thinks recycling is just a scam, you might have some arguments on what to do with your used coffee grounds as the years go by.

3. Does she think the apocalypse is nigh?

This is related to the first two; in other words, does your partner think the world is going to end too soon for you to bring children into it or too soon to bother composting and saving the ocean from filling with more plastic bottles? If she does but you don’t, things may not be very rosy in the future.

4. Is she a vegetarian or vegan?

In other words, can you live in a bacon-free household for the rest of your life? If you yourself are a vegetarian or vegan, however, this is a match made in heaven.

5. Does she eat junk food or is she a total health nut?

Again, the person you end up with will inevitably influence the food you consume on a regular basis. You also may very well end up cooking for each other quite often. Try finding someone with a compatible palate.

6. Is she allergic to dogs/cats/hamsters/all of the above?

You might want to get a pet if your significant other thinks children are so awful… Just kidding, totally separate examples, but still.

7. Would you rather be “normal” or “weird”— and does your answer match hers?

This question is actually on OkCupid, and it’s arguably the most significant one on there. My best friend actually uses it as the make-or-break test for whether she’ll return a guy’s message. It says more about a person’s worldview than you may initially realize.

8. How often does she like having sex?

Let’s just say you do not want to enter into a sexless (or sex-sparse) marriage if you can avoid it. Think about how often you two get it on now, and divide that by like five, and that should indicate what things will look like 10 or so years from now.

9. When was the last time you guys had sex outside of the missionary position?

If you can’t answer this because you don’t remember any non-missionary sex, your sex life is already screwed.
10. Where is she on the conservative/anarchist spectrum?
If you’re on opposite ends, things might get awkward in the long run. But then again, Dharma and Greg seemed to have worked it out…

11. Do your parents like her?

This is pretty much a yes or no question — an easy one.

12. Does she like your parents?

This is trickier — get her to tell the truth here. If you both can’t stand your parents, you’re on the same page. If you can but she can’t, there may be a problem.

13. Has she ever owned up to cheating on a lover before?

You know what they say: A cheater always cheats…

14. Can she drink you under the table?

What are her drug and alcohol habits like? It’s very hard to be in a long-term relationship with an addict, so pay attention before you get more long term. Is your sweetheart an angry drunk who drinks enough to get mad frequently (even though she’s so sweet the rest of the time!)? Or maybe she’s into the stoner lifestyle and you tolerate it because you’re dating but won’t want your home constantly smelling like a ganja forest; if this is the case, it’s definitely something you’ll have to address if you get married.

15. Do you like her parents?

She may very well be a lot more like them when he gets older.

16. What are her favorite TV shows/movies?

You’ll have to watch them for the rest of your life.

17. Will she take out the trash on time?

Think of this as a more general guideline for crucial home upkeep. Maybe you’re the kind of person who’s cool with, or even happy to, clean up all the messes. But maybe it will drive you crazy if your partner can’t keep up by doing her part.

18. Does she see lying as an easy way out of tricky situations?

It is an easy way out, of course, but if it’s her go-to mode of operation, you might want someone with a more solid character. Or you both might be lying sons of bitches, which could work for you.