15 Ways To Avoid Sleeping With Your Friends ‘By Accident’

1/27/14 10:10AM EST

15 Ways To Avoid Sleeping With Your Friends By Accident 15 Ways To Avoid Sleeping With Your Friends By Accident

Paramount Pictures/No Strings Attached

Intimacies of convenience happen more often than most of us are willing to admit. If you feel like setting up a strict boundary around the “friend zone,” here’s some advice you might want to follow:

1. Don’t Talk Too Extensively About Your Sex Life

If he knows too many intimate details, he might start to feel too comfortable when it comes to your body.

2. Don’t Have “Platonic Sleepovers”

We all know what cuddling leads to. “We were just spooning, I had no idea I’d then decide to stick my tongue in his mouth!” will definitely cause your mutual friends to raise a suspicious eyebrow.

3. Don’t Be The Most Wasted Guest At His/Her Party

This verges on a guideline to avoiding acquaintance rape, but if we’re sticking to consensual terms, doing this will most likely lead to number two on this list.

4. Avoid Excess Touching

Yes, you’re best friends, but is it really necessary to hug every time you see each other? And for over twenty seconds?

5. Don’t Use Silences As An Excuse To Stare Deeply Into Each Other’s Eyes

You can find a better way to fill up a pause in the conversation, like jokingly punching him in the arm, or belching loudly.

6. Don’t Share Clothing

Having something that has touched both your and his intimate parts could give you both some unwanted ideas… And then there’s the matter of having to return that piece of clothing, which involves it passing from one hand to another ever so gently…

7. Lament About Loneliness With Friends You Could Never Fuck

If you’re a straight woman, save your rants about romantic solitude for other straight, female friends. Otherwise, you might end up solving that loneliness problem in a hands-on way that will come back to haunt you tomorrow morning.

8. Do Not Attempt To “Wing Man” Each Other

You will fail because all onlookers will assume you are dating. Hence, you will get no action from others—hence, you will turn to each other for it.

9. Introduce Them To Your Single Friends

Once they’ve slept with your other best friend, you have become off-limits in a more sacred manner.

10. Stop Watching Porn Together

Though this is a great hobby to share with a best guy friend, it may not be the one that will prevent him from trying to sleep with you.

11. Skip Your Ritual Yoga Class

Spending too much time together half-naked and sweating balls will do nothing if not remind you that you’re both sexual creatures with taut, flexible bods.

12. Set Boundaries Early On

Making it clear from the onset of your friendship that sex will never come between you just might work…unless you’re in almost every buddy romance chick flick I’ve ever seen.

13. Stop Flirting!

This seems like it would be common sense, but some people cannot help but place their hands on your knee when you’re telling a funny joke. If you are such a person, be mindful of your actions.

14. Don’t Have Them Assess Whether Or Not You Look Hot In That Outfit

“Hey, babe, will you zip this up for me? Do I look hot or kinda frumpy?” is a line best saved for significant others. When your best guy friend breaks out in a sweat after you ask him, it’s because he’s trying really hard not to get an erection.

15. Save “Practicing Techniques” On A Significant Others

Do not take pity on your super nerd, virginal guy friend by assuring him that after your lessons on making out, he will be the biggest stud in the city. Chances are he will become your biggest fan/hanger-on instead.


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