20 Indicators That You’ve Truly Become An Adult

5/28/14 4:48PM EST

Universal Pictures/Ted

Universal Pictures/Ted

At some point in life, every person begins to complain that they’re getting old. Though this may seem crazy to, well, actual old people, this time period marks the beginning of a lot of significant changes in a relatively young person’s life. They’re living on their own, supporting themselves (hopefully) and getting acquainted with all of the trappings that come with such newfound independence and serious responsibility. These trappings serve as a rite of passage, and any of them will indicate to you that you have entered the universe of adulthood. You deserve hearty congratulations if you can identify with any of the following conditions of maturity.

1. Your Hangovers Are A Whole Lot Worse

Casually downing a few beers will no longer lead to a bright-eyed and bushy-tailed morning. Just three alcoholic beverages will result in pounding headaches, an upset stomach and the inability to move anywhere other than the path between your bed and the toilet for at least an hour the next morning.

2. You Pay Taxes

Not only that, but you’ve learned exactly how to calculate your government dues. Congratulations!

3. You’ve Gone From Asking, “What Drugs Will I Do At That Party?” To “Will I Do Drugs At That Party?”

…to “Will I go to that party at all?” to finally, “What party?”

4. You Appreciate What Your Parents Have Done For You


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And you actually tell them!

5. Walking Upstairs Is Exhausting

Going down hurts your knees.

6. Everyone You Know Is Part Of A Couple

And some of those couples are married.

7. You Get Invited To Brunch

Young people don’t “have brunch” together. They eat a meal at some point during the day and don’t bother giving it a name.

8. You Don’t See Your Friends As Much

… because…

9. You’re Too Exhausted After Work Every Day To Do Anything

Cooking your own dinner is hard enough after having maintained (relative) alertness for the past eight hours. Forget going out for drinks with the people you like.

10. You Can Announce To A Room Full of People That You’re Going To Get A Pet And Nobody Cringes

They believe you are in fact responsible enough to care for two creatures’ lives: yours and the dog’s. That is an accomplishment.

11. You’ve Started Looking At Other People’s Babies Differently

Because you’re beginning to conceive of what it would be like to have one of your own.

12. Your Friends Compare 401k Plans


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And you chime right in.

13. Commercials Make You Cry

It’s called nostalgia for things you cannot understand, and it’s totally normal.

14. You See Your Favorite TV Show More Than Your Best Friend

You also know just as many of its secrets.

15. Cashiers Refer To You As Ma’am Or Sir

And you hardly have to fight the urge to correct them.

16. You Know What You’re Doing At 7 P.M. On Monday A Month From Now

It’s hard fitting in plans around work, dinner invitations sent out in advance to avoid conflicts, and, of course…

17. Doctor Appointments

You have them more because…

18. Parts Of You Are Starting To Not Work So Well

Between your increased glasses prescription and the way your ankle keeps on popping out of its socket when you run, the old grey mare just ain’t what she used to be.

19. You Give People Dirty Looks When They Don’t Wear Their Seatbelts

Who would gamble with their lives like that? We’re not invincible teenagers anymore.

20. Your Parents Expect You To Take Care Of Them

At least, you’re already receiving threats about what they’ll do to you from inside the walls of whatever nursing home you put them in. Tread carefully here, and remember that if you feel like an adult now, you’ll really feel like it when your kids start extolling the virtues of Sunny Brook Assisted Living 40-odd years in the future.

Hans J Neufeld
Hans J Neufeld

I literally buried my face in my hands reading this; it's me in a nutshell. WHY DON'T THEY SELL SELF-DISCIPLINE?!