20 Thoughts That Go Through Your Head When You’re An Adult Seeing A Teen Movie

20 Thoughts That Go Through Your Head When You’re An Adult Seeing A Teen Movie


Images via Shutterstock and Lionsgate/The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1

Images via Shutterstock and Lionsgate/The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1

“Mockingjay: Part 1” was released on Nov. 21 to eager hordes of teenage movie-goers. Suzanne Collins’s novel “Mockingjay,” however, was released in August 2010, while the first book in the series came out all the way back in September 2008, making it just over six years since the franchise began. Those who fell in love with the books in their teens are now in their early and mid-20s, but there’s still one movie to go — and it’s not scheduled to come out until next November. So what’s a semi-embarrassed 20-something to think when they want to see a movie that’s now targeted at a younger demographic?

1. Don’t Mention This Movie To Anyone

Do not even express the tiniest bit of interest in the previews, because as soon as you do, people will know that you secretly want to see the movie and you will never hide your shame.

2. You Don’t Really Want To Go

It’s not a big deal; you’ve read the books already, so why do you need to see the movie? If you really want to see it, watch it on DVD or Netflix in the privacy of your own home sometime next year.

3. You Should Go… Just As A Joke

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You’ll pretend that you don’t really want to see it; you’re going just to see what all the hype is about and to make fun of the die-hard fans who will probably cry at emotional moments. You will not be one of these fans. Nope. No way.

4. Find The One Who Will Go With You

There’s always one magical friend who you know you can count on for things like this. Start taking mental inventory now, because you know you’re probably going to want to see this movie.

5. It’s Not A Teen Movie, It’s A Young Adult Movie

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The books are YA; that means “young adult.” You’re a young adult. Case closed.

6. You Can See Whatever Movies You Want!

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You don’t have to see it ironically or be embarrassed to go. There will be tons of other people your age there, and who cares if there aren’t? You have nothing to be ashamed of. You’re being strong and admitting that you like the things that you like.

7. Society Can’t Tell You What To Do

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You’re a strong, independent adult! Screw society and all its constraints! You’re going to this movie!

8. You’re Going To Have To Say The Name Of The Movie When You Buy A Ticket

Your burst of confidence lasts until you reach the theater, which is when you realize that you’re going to have to loudly proclaim in front of about 50 people that you would like to buy a ticket for the movie. There’s no turning back now, though; you’ve made your choice.

9. Damn, There Are A Lot Of Teenagers Here

A lot. More than you had expected. What if they’re all here to see the same movie? Reality is not lining up with the careful fantasy you crafted in your head.

10. Are You Too Old For This?

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How old is too old? Should you be embarrassed? Are you making some kind of statement here, and if so, is it good or bad? Are you rejecting societal norms or just paying money to be part of an uncaring Hollywood machine that wants your time and money? You don’t know what’s real anymore.

11. Oh Wait, There’s Someone Even Older Than You

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You really hope they’re not here with their kids.

12. They’re Here With Their Kids

Maybe you should pretend that you have kids, too… or would that be even weirder? If anyone asks, you decide that you’ll say you’re here with your 14-year-old cousin, who is currently in the bathroom.

13. What If You See Someone You Know?

You could pretend you’re here to see another movie, but they might see you walking into the wrong theater. You decide you need to do some more work on this whole fake cousin story: Figure out a plausible high school for them to go to, and then invent some excuse for why they’ve spent the last 15 minutes in the bathroom just in case you get sucked into a conversation with this random acquaintance.

14. Relax, It’s Only A Movie

It’s not like you’re robbing a bank. Just sit and watch the movie; who cares if you’re surrounded by teenagers?

15. That One Is Totally Judging You

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One of them is looking at you! They know you’re too old for this movie! They can see right through you into your soul, and they’re judging what they see there. They’re judging your taste in movies. You should have never ventured outside today.

16. Oh, Wait… No, They’re Not

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They were just looking for their friend. You’re getting paranoid.

17. This Is A One-Time Thing

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Clearly, you cannot handle the fear and doubt associated with seeing a popular movie.

18. Wow, That Person Is Way Too Old For This Movie

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Despite your best intentions, now you’re the one judging, which makes you certain that someone somewhere thinks you’re weird for being here.

19. Find A Seat So You Can Stop Worrying

In the dark, no one can tell how old you are, nor can they tell how self-conscious you are. Plus, once the movie’s over, you can pretend you were in a different theater. The plan is all coming together!

20. You Are Going To See This Movie

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You’ve come this far; you are going to see this movie, and you’re going to like it. And next year, you’re going to see the sequel, no matter how old you are.

 

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