Inbox empty and phone silent two weeks after your slew of job interviews, even though your resume gleams with the proper qualifications? Chances are you went wrong during the interview. Between strange facial tics and nervous laughter, meeting with a potential employer can be easy to mess up. In order to avoid future embarrassments during the interview (and not to mention get a job), DO NOT:

1. Repeat Negative Things You’ve Heard About The Company/Institution You’re Applying To Work For

Even if you’re saying that you’ve heard these negative things from others yet you strongly disagree, the interviewer will associate the insulting comments with you.

2. Reveal Too Much About Your Personal Life

Just because they’re asking you lots of questions about yourself, does not mean your interviewer is your therapist. Please don’t bring up ex-lovers or the epic stomach problems you experienced last night post-Indian food. And for goodness sake, do not cry.

3. Pick Your Nose

This needs no explanation, right?

4. Ask About Vacation/Sick Time

You’re trying to show how much you want to be at that job, not find out how frequently you can get away from it.

5. Inquire Too Much Into Your Potential Salary

It’s okay to get a basic estimate, but try not to sound like you’re into this only for the money.

6. Rave About Your Current Job

This is not to say that you should put down your current work, but if your eyes light up as you overflow with praise for the job you’ve got now, your interviewer will wonder why you’re bothering to look elsewhere.

7. Show Your Toes

Unless you are a woman and it is the summertime. Or late spring. Otherwise, this looks unprofessional.

8. Interrupt Your Interviewer

Let them control the flow of the conversation, and never be rude to the person in charge of hiring you.

9. Keep Your Cell Phone On

Turn it off the moment before you walk in the door! When “All the Single Ladies” starts calling from your bag after you note your ability to uphold professionalism at all times, you will look stupid.

10. Fidget

Keep your hands in your lap. Or better yet, folded on the table in front of you where your interviewer can see them. Think dinner table rules when it comes to your hands during an interview and go from there.

11. Say That You’re Qualified Regardless Of The Job

It looks pretty thoughtless if you go on and on about your qualifications without adhering to the specifics of the job at hand. Maybe you are a man/woman of the world and can do anything with ease, but that doesn’t tell your potential employer that you’re the best candidate to perform background checks on hedge funds (or whatever it is you’re applying to do).

12 Curse

It’s easy to let “shit” creep seamlessly into your casual conversation, and lots of people swear now and then amongst their friends without sounding crass, but keep it out of your interview lest you want to watch a potential employer cringe.

13. Get Too Buddy Buddy With Your Interviewer

Even if they seem like they could be your best friend in real life, refrain from telling them your funniest bar story or inviting them over to watch the TV show you both profess to love.

14. Or Get Even Friendlier Than That…

Flirting or asking out the person who interviews you might get you a date, but it will prevent you from getting a job. Just keep your priorities in mind.

15. Talk Religion And/Or Politics

Unless it’s directly pertinent to the job and your interviewer asks you outright, these polarizing topics can make enemies fast.

16. Truthfully Answer The Question, “What’s Your Greatest Weakness?”

Unless your greatest weakness is that you are a poor problem-solver, have a bad work ethic, or are always late for important meetings. (Just kidding.)

17. Or Answer That Question With How Much Of A Perfectionist You Are…

…or how sometimes you work too hard, or pay too much attention to detail. Employers have heard this approximately five billion times before. Get creative, for your sake.

18. Be Sarcastic

Many think it exclusively takes clever people to be sarcastic. Not only is this untrue, but sarcasm can come off as mean, off-putting, or not at all (as in, your interviewer may not recognize your sarcasm as such and mistake you for an idiot).

19. Reveal Past Associations With Known Terrorists

This is also a bad idea in airports, any government institutions, and even your own backyard.

20. Act Like The Interview Is An Oral Quiz

Treat it like a conversation instead. You’ve already passed the “quiz” portion. It was your resume. This part gauges how well you’ll fit into the company, and the mark of that lies in how well you can converse with your employer.

21. Answer, “Tell Me About Yourself,” By Talking About Your Childhood Pets

Fluffy was the most adorable hamster in the universe, but the person hiring you to program computers doesn’t care about that or find it relevant to your professional identity.

22. Tell Corny Jokes

Like ones that begin with, “Knock, knock,” or, “Superman and a priest walk into a bar…”

23. Be Curt To The Receptionist, Even If They Keep You Waiting Or Neglect To Offer You Coffee

They work there, too, and are liable to report your bad behavior to the hiring managers.

24. Lie

So most people exaggerates a tiny bit on a job interview. Just refrain from mentioning “the year you spent in the Peace Corps” when you’ve never left the country, and other talking points of that nature.

25. Forget To Look In The Mirror Before You Come In, Especially If The Interview Takes Place After Lunch

You might have food crumbs in your teeth. Or beard. On that note, maybe you should have shaved your beard before the interview, anyway.

26. Respond To, “Where Do You See Yourself In Five Years?” By Saying, “In your Job.”

Even if that’s the case, it’s not the most inspiring thing for your interviewer to hear. Unless you preface it with, “After you’ve become the CEO…”