39 Reasons Why You Should Stay Single As Long As Possible

39 Reasons Why You Should Stay Single As Long As Possible


Universal Pictures

Universal Pictures

Feeling the pressure to settle down? Don’t despair if the perfect someone has yet to grace your lonely, single doorstep. Being single is actually pretty sweet, so next time you find yourself wallowing in shallow self-pity, think about the following perks of flying solo.

1. Having The Bed To Yourself

Significant others are quick to take over your personal territory in the bedroom. Sleeping alone lets your avoid a potential bed hog.

2. Your Favorite Disgusting Habits

Who wants to eat a massive ice cream sundae while drinking a beer in bed in front of their lover? That’s right, someone who hates having sex.

3. More Money

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Dates can be expensive, especially if you’re with someone you’re trying to impress. It takes very little to impress yourself… a tall can and some television will do.

4. Sleeping Around

Sometimes it’s great to have reliably good sex with someone you care deeply about. Other times, a good fuck comes in the form of an enthusiastic stranger who never gave you his name. Or, like, ten enthusiastic strangers (probably not at once, though).

5. Focusing On Your Hobbies

Who’s going to take the time to learn Sanskrit and plough through seven novels a month when they’re in relationship?

6. No One Keeping Tabs On Your Actions

“What did you yesterday, honey? Oh yeah? With who? That doesn’t sound very safe…” Please, who needs this all the time?

7. Avoiding A Second Family

You’ve already got your own nagging parents to deal with. Why take one someone else’s, as well?

8. Personal Growth

Sure, you can learn and grow in a relationship, but doing so by yourself has a lot more longevity in terms of independent happiness.

9. Your Career

Without the warmth of constant companionship, your job can become your best friend. This can lead to things like promotions, higher pay, an in with your boss, and lots of other things that people in couples are too busy cooing into each other’s ears to care about.

10. Exercise

The “sex is exercise” excuse only works until you notice the folds that begin to appear when you’re sitting on your ass all the time because you don’t have to go anywhere to get laid.

11. Being Single at Weddings

Only total saps let weddings depress them if they attend sans partner. An open bar and tons of horny partygoers? You’ve got to take advantage of that shit while you can!

12. Friend Time

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Have you ever noticed how friends in serious relationships disappear into the black hole of couplehood? This doesn’t have to be you. Friendships are important relationships, too, you know.

13. His/Her Friends

Loving someone doesn’t mean that you will automatically love her friends. You’d never have to hang around best pal Kelsey with the high-pitched laugh and nasal voice if you were single.

14. Choosing All of Your Own Activities

You don’t have to worry about feeling obligated to go to brunch with her cousin or on that dreaded ski trip with his family when you’ve never worn a pair skis in your life if you don’t have a significant other pleading with you to do so.

15. Saying “No”

If friends ask you do something distasteful with them, you can decline the invitation. When it comes to your lover, “no” is not always an option.

16. Making A Mess

If no one else dwells in your room, who cares if your dirty laundry has been all over the floor for weeks? No one but you.

17. And Not Having To Clean Up After Your Partner

It’s pretty annoying if you’re a neat freak and your significant other doesn’t mind a week’s worth of unwashed dishes.

18. Choosing Your Own Décor

You don’t have to compromise with anybody else’s personal style when you live by yourself.

19. Single Self-Pity

It can be fun to indulge your single woes in ways that people in couples can’t…like through getting wasted by yourself at the bar while you rant to the bartender about your lonely existence until he closes up shop and you fuck on one of the stools.

20. Variety

Falling into a routine as a couple is easy. When you’re by yourself, you can hang out with a different person every single night! (Not necessarily in a sexual way—but maybe in a sexual way. Because you can.)

21. No Hiding Purchases

Sometimes the person you’re with judges you for spending your money on $300 sweaters. What you do with your money alone doesn’t have to come under scrutiny.

22. The Delicious Snacks You Buy Are All Yours

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You don’t have to worry about eating that whole cake in one sitting because otherwise you know your partner will leave you with crumbs.

23. And No One Can Tell You Not To Eat Them

…because it’s “bad for your health” if you do. When you’re on your own, your health is actually your health.

24. No Forced Love

Not for your partner, of course, but for his dog or cats or kids. Forget pretending to adore Fluffy when you hate that his copious, white hair gets all over your black outfits and never comes off, regardless of how many times you use the lint roller.

25. Social Media

With social media, people with internet access know way more about our lives than we would like them to. That includes our significant others, who are more likely to pry into our time spent without them than anyone else is (except for your elderly mom, who just friended you on Facebook).

26. Freedom To Move

You got an amazing job offer out of state? Great, you can go. No one else’s dream job at home is stopping you.

27. There’s No One Judging Your Family

No one can complain about your family like a significant other can. He knows too much and may very well not be too shy to rant about it.

28. Pregnancy Scares

If you’re not with the person who accidentally impregnated you, you don’t have to have “a talk” about whether or not to keep the baby.

29. TV Privileges

Who controls the remote at your house? You do. No having to watch the news and pretend to care about current events when all you really want to do is stare at hour after hour of “Law and Order: SVU.”

30. Snoring

Whether you do it or your partner does, you don’t have to worry about waking her up or her waking you up.

31. The Toilet Seat

It will stay in the position you leave it in, whatever that may be.

32. Getting Married Is Such A Production

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From the flower arrangements to getting your Uncle Milty and Aunt Roberta to sit in the same room, the whole things doesn’t seem worthwhile. Unfortunately, your partner probably wants to make it a big thing, or at least your parents do.

33. And So Is Divorce

It may very well be more expensive than your wedding. And pretty emotionally draining, if you’re not just thinking in terms of dollars and cents.

34. Arguments Won’t End In You Sleeping on the Couch

You can have a tiff with your best friend or co-worker and still end up sleeping in your own bed.

35. Doing Things At Your Own Pace

You don’t have to constantly wait for someone or attend to your lover’s cries of “hurry the fuck up—we’re already two hours late for that dinner!”

36. No Worries About Your Partner Sleeping Around

Instead, you will have the assurance that most people you’re sleeping with are probably also sleeping around, and so are you, and nobody cares.

37. Watching Porn

Unless your partner is really into it, too, she’ll probably ask questions when she sees a bunch of it on your web browsing history. Questions like: “Am I not enough for you or something?”

38. Only Your Alarm Clock Will Wake You Up in the Morning

Forget his alarm or him pawing at your for sex when it’s seven in the morning and you don’t have to be at work until noon.

39. Dealing With Someone Else’s Emotions Is Hard

As if struggling with your own sanity wasn’t tough enough, you have to constantly keep tabs on someone else’s mental health when you’re in a couple. Why make life more work than it already is?

 
  • EricNiehaus

    I’d like to get real for a second. This is probably the worst article I’ve ever read. “39 Reasons Why You Should Stay Single As Long As Possible”. Doesn’t sound inherently bad. Starts with “Having the Bed to Yourself”. Ok, haha, fine. That’s cool.
    “Your Favorite Disgusting Habits”. Who you’re dating shouldn’t really judge you for your odd habits, but still, ok, fine.
    But then “Sleeping Around”? Is that a joke? Advocating fucking 10 different people whose names you don’t even know? I know people don’t like talking about this stuff because they’re afraid of hurting people’s feeling, but this is ridiculous. Since when was this ok? No one wants to be the bad guy with this sort of thing but how can we let this sort of thing be permissible? It’s not. 
    There has obviously been a trend toward deviating from “traditional” or “conservative” values, but I’d just like to say loud and clear that I still support them. I believe people should wait until marriage to get married. Couples who wait have a 5% divorce rate, compared to the 50% + national rate. I believe couples should pray together. Couples who pray have a divorce rate of less than 1%. I understand the sexual liberation movement, but progress doesn’t always mean changing everything. Being a gentleman? Respecting women? Meeting the family? Those ideals have stuck around because they’re damn good ideals. They foster strong and meaningful relationships predicated more on getting to know the person’s heart, brain and soul than his or her body. It’s a system of commitment that leads to a strong family life. Sleeping around advocates being noncommittal. I know people don’t want to be “weighed down”, but I think that’s an awful mindset to have. What are you going to do when you get married, have kids, and the glamor of the honeymoon fades? Hop on Ashley Madison? The most valuable parts of relationships aren’t the pretty ones, they’re the ugly, grit-your-teeth, “feel like I want to give up” moments, days and, yeah, even years.
    Relationships, the way they’re intended to be played out, will enhance your life in every way, not inhibit it. You can still “Focus on your hobbies”. If being with the person feels like a task, something to check off, then why the heck are you dating that person? You should yearn to be with that person, because it is with that person that you become the fullest and best version of yourself.
    “No one keeping tabs on your actions” and “No Hiding Purchases”? What are you doing that would make them need to keep tabs? Moreover, if you feel the need to hide it, then you probably know deep down that you shouldn’t have bought it any way. It’s like not being cool with who you’re dating knowing the password to your phone–if there’s nothing bad on your phone, why does it matter? Chances are that if you’re being smart and are worthy of being trusted, you won’t feel the need to hide things from him/her and she/he won’t feel the need to “keep tabs”.
    “Social Media” and your partner knowing more about your life than you want them to? Isn’t one of the main points of dating and marriage to have someone with whom you can share your whole life and have no secrets?
    “Avoiding a second family”? That’s honestly such a horrible attitude. If you genuinely love and care for the other person (which should kinda be a prerequisite for dating), you’d want to make them happy, right? (I don’t think that facet of a relationship has been condemned “outdated” quite yet) So why avoid such an important part of his/her life?
    “Personal Growth” and “Your Career”? You are going to grow infinitely more through a relationship than on your own. Furthermore, the person you’re dating/married to will only want to help you achieve your dreams and aspirations–career included. You only start to see your partner as an inhibitor of your dreams when you don’t realize that in relationships the other person wants only what is best for you.
    Many of the others, like “Choosing All of Your Own Activities” and “Not Having To Clean Up After Your Partner” are just so incredibly self-centered, they completely miss the point of a relationship. Your partner isn’t a hassle–he/she is not a chore. Relationships aren’t about you getting what you want, it’s about giving what the other person needs. Until we realize that simple fact, we’re going to be plagued by relational issues our whole lives.
    “Pregnancy Scares” centered around not having to have “a talk” about whether or not to keep the baby? That’s disgusting. This one is primarily from a girl’s perspective…You’re going to say a good reason to stay single is so you don’t have to consult with the man who impregnated you about whether or not you should abort a life (or the possibility of a life, depending on your view)? You just want to act independently, as if sex, which is entirely relational, can be confined to just the physical? If you don’t want to have pregnancy scares, here’s a novel idea: don’t have sex.
    “Getting Married Is Such A Production”…”And So Is Divorce”? The fact that this person is even considering divorce as an option going into marriage shows how much her selfish attitude of sleeping around and not committing to someone has affected her. Marriage is a purchase, not a lease. You can’t just say “I gave it my best shot”. No. You have to continuously give your best shot, which means not giving up on her or him ever. Again with the whole “outdated” thing, but if you’re a man, be a man: think and pray about it extensively and then stick to your promise. If you’re a woman, be a woman and do the same.
    “No Worries About Your Partner Sleeping Around”? This isn’t even dating any more. This is like…friends with benefits. You can’t have a real, healthy relationship without trust.
    And finally, “Dealing With Someone Else’s Emotions Is Hard”. Well, guess what. Marriage is hard. It’s damn hard. Get used to it.
    I apologize for the unusual aggressiveness of this post, but I am so sick of this kind of thing. I’m tired of this whole self-centered, apathetic “Live It Up In College” and “Be Young, Dumb, Wild and Free” notion. I don’t think it’s ok, and I think it’s even less ok to think it’s not ok and then not speak up about it. Reality check: Barring rare exceptions, who you are coming out of college is roughly who you’re going to be for the rest of your life. So instead of focusing on getting laid or being cool, consider investing in yourself, in another person and in your and your future partner’s and children’s future, because it’s a reality you’re going to face. Relationships aren’t about you, they’re about everyone BUT you. Maybe it’s the outdated, conservative negative nancy in me, but committing? Being open and honest? Trusting? Loving selflessly (which is what love is, really) by thinking about the other person more than about yourself? Those sound a lot more important than being concerned only with your own agenda and sleeping around with strangers.

  • OrlandoGamino

    EricNiehaus  You are right, people should wait until marriage to get married! 😛

  • tebestrry

    EricNiehaus I agree with most of what you said. This list is kind of pathetic, it seems more like the writer is single and trying to tell herself/himself that its fine. Being single is fine and you can enjoy it but most of the reasons are pretty bad ones. 

    One thing i do question is your statistics about the divorce rate of people who wait for sex until after marriage at 5% and couples who do that and pray together at 1%. Also the 50% divorce rate is not actually true. Modern studies (meaning in last 10 years) have produced numbers a lot lower. Seeing as alot of countries and states do not publish their divorce and marriage numbers it is hard to get an accurate number. Long story short its between around 12% of people  who had ever been married had ever been divorced. Highest study was 43% will divorce in under 10 years, if they marry young. It would be good to see where you got those statistics though

  • MichelleTorio

    Sounds like someone trying to convince themselves in this article. I’ve been with my husband for over 12 years and don’t have these issues. But it could be because we were best friends first, we had both been in unsuccessful relationships before we got together. You only run into these problems when you try to push a person into being something they are not in a relationship. Found out the best way to be with someone is to be their best friend first, then everything else is a benefit. I get to have fun, have friends, share hobbies, and have great sex all with my best friend. And I knew the negative stuff about him before we got together, so I know what I was I was getting. No honeymoon or having to act fake for him, we both knew the good and the bad.

  • solaraa

    Bitter unhappily married people ranting here haha I was sure

  • FredShwartz

    Some people are made to be married or in serious relationships, but others are not. There is no shame in being single.

  • HonestlySpeaking

    Well with much more women that are Gay is a very good reason why a good straight man like me is still single today as i speak, and since i keep meeting very unfriendly women these days to talk too certainly speaks for itself since it is certainly Not my fault at all.

  • BigboonyLoxford

    EricNiehaus not everyone wants a shit marriage and kids

  • NotSingleByChoice

    Well for a Good man like me that really wanted to get married and have a family which i can certainly Blame the women of today since the ones that now have their Careers are so very high maintenance, independent, selfish, spoiled, greedy, picky, and so very money too which really speaks for itself.

  • Truth Is 33

    That is because many of us will use our brains.

  • Oscar Park

    Women are staying single now until they are way too ugly. They spiral down the social ladder until everyone wonders what they were thinking. They wear their discontent on their faces while boldly declaring it was all intentional. Women need a renewed sense of urgency. It only takes one “Eat.Pray.Love” tour to realize you can be lonely any place on earth.

    • Reality

      Most of these very pathetic women will just grow very old all alone with their cats when their time comes. Serves them right.

  • Reginald Tyus

    Am so happy.. thanks to manifestspellcast@gmail. com for saving my relationship. Dr. Todd is the best and kindest spell caster I’ve ever met! Thanks, thanks thanks!!!!!!!

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