40 Thoughts We’ve All Had While Drunk

4/18/14 1:32PM EST

40 Thoughts Weve All Had While Drunk 40 Thoughts Weve All Had While Drunk

DreamWorks/OldSchool

The weekend is coming and most of us are going to celebrate by ingesting copious amounts of alcohol. While no two drunk nights are the same most tend to follow a similar pattern. There’s the initial soaring euphoria combined with mental clarity. Then, depending on what and how much we’re drinking, those feelings can give way to buried emotions, rage, reckless behavior — and worst of all — talking to your ex. Yet in the end it’s all worth it. How else are you supposed to bond with estranged family and co-workers, or even dance to a Journey song?

1. I look good.

2. One more drink and I’ll be ready to go.

3. Tonight is gonna be the best night ever!

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4. It’s barely even cold out here.

5. I should sit in the front seat and get to know the cab driver.

6. I could kick this guy’s A$$.

3. She’s not fat, she’s just really thick.

4. I need to get this party going!

5. I have the best friends in the world.

6. Where did my friends go?

7. I F***ing love this song!

8. OMG dancing is so easy. Just trust your body and go.

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9. Why aren’t I drunk ALL the time.

10. Let’s go to the strip club!

11. Oh well, what’s money anyway? I can always make it back.

12. I should call my ex.

13. This Facebook post I’m writing is so insightful.

14. If I burp and blow it that way no one will know it was me.

15. Where the hell is my phone?

16. Mmm cigarettes.

17. What the **** is that person looking at?

18. I’m not even drunk.

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19. Sinks are basically toilets.

21. The bartender definitely wants to bone.

22. I should compliment her on her boobs.

23. Why should I have to leave?

24. This is bullshit, I didn’t do anything!

25. Adderall is awesome.

26. My roommate won’t mind if I eat this.

27. Whatever, I’ll fix it tomorrow.

28. Did I just puke?

29. How did I get to a different bar?

30. Who am I making out with?

31. Condom? Na, they’re probably clean.

32. When did I cut my arm?

33. Pizza would be amazing right now.

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34. I can drive, I just have to be really careful.

35. Focus on the lines. Focus on the lines…

36. Driving was a bad idea.

37. Tonight sucked.

38. Where the hell did my friends go?

39. Damnit where’s my phone?

40. The floor is actually pretty comfortable.

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“Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.”
-Ernest Hemingway

 
 

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