50 Things Every Man Should Realize

50 Things Every Man Should Realize

20th Century Fox

20th Century Fox

Hungry for some little nuggets of wisdom? Need a few easily digestible rules to live by? Well, my friends, you have come to the right place. Because I’ve been some places and I’ve done some things, and I’ve learned a thing or two about a thing or two. So give me a few minutes of your time and I’ll give you 50 things every man should realize about himself, women, business and life in general.

1. If you always believe you’re the smartest guy in the room, you’ll never learn anything.

2. Figure out how you would be of value in a post-apocalyptic society.

3. Learn CPR, the Heimlich and basic first aid.

4. Sex is best when you treat it as a competition.

5. Save money. Rainy days can come out of nowhere.

6. Spend money. You can’t take it with you.

7. Hate to break it to you, but size DOES matter.

8. Be generous and open to criticism, especially in bed.

9. Your wife/girlfriend is not your mother.

10. A strong work ethic is a good substitute for being smart.

11. Handshake agreements aren’t worth the paper they’re printed on.

12. Don’t let your friends drift away, because they will if you let them.

13. Time is your most valuable commodity. Don’t waste too much of it.

14. If you’re not happy, stop what you’re doing and do something else. Right now.

15. Keep your bathroom clean and your bed made if you want a woman to use either.

16. Failure sucks, but it feels way better than not trying.

17. Always be confident. Never be cocky.

18. Remember people’s names.

19. Don’t be an asshole. Seriously. Just don’t.

20. Choose your role models carefully.

21. Keep your mind in shape. Do a crossword. Memorize a poem. Something like that.

22. If you can’t drive a stick, parallel park or jump-start a car, I’m sorry, but you can’t call yourself a man.

23. If you’re in couples’ therapy, it’s already over.

24. If making money is you’re only goal in life, you’ll never be happy because you’ll never have enough.

25. Having a toolbox and knowing how to use what’s inside of it is pretty damn important.

26. Know how to tell a good story. If you can’t capture people’s attention, you’re just some dude in the background.

27. When you get wasted, you’re not as funny as you think you are.

28. Do not give a single shit about what anybody thinks of you.

29. Quality trumps quantity every time.

30. Do at least 50 push-ups every day.

31. Gentlemen are a dying breed. Be one and you’ll stand out.

32. Don’t sleep with anyone you wouldn’t buy breakfast for the next day.

33. Don’t tell her you’re going to call her unless you really are. It’s chicken-shit.

34. A daily compliment goes a long way.

35. You can’t change the past. Let it go.

36. Prepare for the future but live in the present.

37. If this is the longest thing you’ve read all week, that’s sad. Crack a book once in a while, idiot.

38. If she’s has had more than three different dicks in her ass, she’s probably not marriage material.

39. Own up to mistakes, even if you’re not the one who made them. Nobody likes or respects the guy who refuses to accept any blame.

40. Learn how to change a tire and make sure to help anyone who can’t do it themselves.

41. No one gives a shit about your religion. Whether you’re a devout fundamentalist or a staunch atheist, keep it to yourself.

42. Reevaluate your goals every couple of years. What you want out of life changes constantly.

43. Stop holding grudges. It accomplishes nothing.

44. Control your impulses. But it’s okay to let a few get away from you.

45. Don’t wear your heart on your sleeve. A real man can control his emotions.

46. Burning bridges is one of the stupidest things you can do.

47. Trust your gut, even if it’s steered you wrong in the past.

48. Be honest in all your relationships. Liars suck.

49. If you know how to play guitar, it’s much easier to get laid.

50. Relax. Whatever it is, it’s not that big a deal.

Chuck Henderson
  • There are some good points but most of what is said can be attributed to women.

  • bluecarot

    38 – sorry girls you might have be enjoying your sex life too much, therefore you’re a slut and no marriage material. Does it work the other way? If a guy has had his dick in more than three asses, he’s probably douchebag material? Only a real man can face a real women confident with her sexuality.

  • MichaelAHuertaJr

    If size does matter I wouldn’t have stollen A mandingo’s girl. My girlfriends X is 10 inches and I’m only 5 and a half and I snatched her rite up. Sorry to break it to YOU but size does not matter.

  • MichaelAHuertaJr

    wow! this whole list is bullshit.

  • gooey11

    egomaniacal fodder. Everything that is stated here is nothing more then a way to try and get laid. 
    These sound like nothing more then romantic movie ideas of what it is to be a man…or maybe just the wisdom of an LA hipster/frat boy.

  • AlanGabriel

    #24.5 If you’re a man, then grammar isn’t optional. Your is posessive, You’re is a contraction of “you are”. That said, you are a dip shit.

  • KyleAAA

    More sexist drivel.

  • HabibSThomas


  • mfoley93

    bluecarot The point is that the bedroom (or backseat, restaurant bathroom, wherever) is a sacred place and that anyone that has welcomed too many people into it obviously has a history of looking for the wrong things in a relationship.

  • annieport

    ” If this is the longest thing you’ve read all week, that’s sad. Crack a book once in a while, idiot.”… that might be a valid statement if it wasn’t coming from someone with horrendous spelling/grammar.

    Also, referring back to my favorite article of this dick heads… anal is (according to him) something every good woman should give her man at least once. So, let’s say a woman is in 3 different relationships throughout her life, and in each one she gives her man anal because it’s such a wonderful sign of her true love. Now say, none of these relationships lasted forever so now she is with the 4th man but… oh dear… she’s had 3 dicks in her butt before him-don’t marry her! But he should go ahead and get it in, because as a man, he will always be marriage martial to some desperate submissive woman.

    Oh lord you are the most contradicting scumbag that I’ve come across in a long time.

  • j1234567

    Size doesn’t matter, you got to know how to work it.
    And sex isn’t best when you make it a competition. It’s best when you take care of her and embrace her fully and long.

  • LouiseElizabeth

    HabibSThomas KyleAAA  http://wallstreetinsanity.com/50-things-every-woman-should-realize-about-men/

  • xcliu

    To your #1, maybe you should practice what you preach.

  • jgusta88

    There arnt any men left. I cant claim to be a man, you are definitely not a man. I think a man has a certain level of acceptance that makes him above the need to make a list like this, read a list like this, or even comment on a list like this. A man would simply know, and have the strength of character to leave it at that rather then seek out validation in the comments.

    I have never met a true man, but one day i will become one. I doubt it will have had anything to do with my skimming this list.

  • CandaceWalker

    38 and 45 are complete utter (gendered, sexist) horseshit – but the rest made me laugh!

    Especially the one about being able to drive a manual car 🙂

  • CandaceWalker

    j1234567 Erm depends how small…

  • CandaceWalker

    annieport Yeah, how many sexual partners makes a man no longer marriage material?

  • DavidBiedny

    51: Learn the difference between YOUR and YOU’RE when you write lists (or anything else, for that matter).

  • PatrickButler

    CandaceWalker Yeah, 45 is a little much but 38 I would agree. Of course I think you are to take this list with a certain sarcastic tone.

  • mxmcd3080

    52. Don’t waste time reading generic, bullshit lists even if Tyler Durden is pictured on top.

  • bernardofloren3


  • fuckyouuuuuu

    “I’ve been some places and I’ve done some things, and I’ve learned a thing or two about a thing or two…”


    don’t waste your time

  • MissionHill2

    A lot of these are contradictory and written by a 17 year old boy who thinks he has life figured out.