50 Things Every Woman Should Realize About Men

50 Things Every Woman Should Realize About Men


Don Jon

Don Jon

This one’s for the ladies. Fellas, you can hang around if you want to, but you gotta stand over there in the corner and be real quiet. Don’t worry, I’m not gonna hit on your girlfriends and wives, but I got a few things to tell them. Trust me, this is for your own good.

Okay girls, now it’s just you and me. You’re all looking very pretty today, maybe we can go grab a drink sometime—no, shit. I promised I wouldn’t do that. Sorry. Habit.

Anyway, the reason I pulled you all aside…is to show you my penis. Wait! Don’t leave, I was just kidding. Okay, I think I got it all out of my system now.

Seriously, though, I want to let you in on a little secret—men don’t know shit about women. We just can’t figure you out, and all our attempts end in humiliating defeat. So stop expecting us to understand the intricate mystery that is the feminine psyche and just accept the fact that it’s never going to happen. However…there is hope. Once you stop over-thinking men and realize that they are much less complex than you are, you can take charge, keep them content and get what you want at the same time.

So here’s a list of things that will help you help him to create a strong and lasting relationship with just about any guy. And if you need any extra help, I do offer private tutorials. You know where to find me.

1. You Gotta Stay Away From His Internet Search History

You can’t handle it. It’s more or less the same for every guy, so don’t think he’s a perv or anything. But if you go browsing where he’s been, you’ll regret it. There are some things you can’t unsee.

2. You Can’t Change Him

I know that you know this intellectually, but on some level, you may still think you can pull it off. You can’t. And if you do manage to get it done, he’ll figure it out and resent you for it. Love him the way he is or not at all.

3. You Shouldn’t Take It Personally When He Checks Out Other Women

Unless he’s leering and drooling, just let it slide. It’s a reflex and he can’t help it. Just let it slide.

4. He Will Choose His Friends Over You

They’ve been with him for way longer than you have, and no matter how much he loves the regular sex, he’ll sacrifice it if you’re trying to 86 his buddies from his life.

5. Never Criticize His Mother

If he wants to do it, and you commiserate with him, that’s fine. But if you’re the one who brings it up, watch the fuck out. Odds are, there are qualities she has that he sees in you, so try to figure out what those are and relate to her on that level.

6. You Have To Let Shit Go

You’ll have a lot of fights over the course of the relationship, but when they’re over, they really need to be over. Throwing old arguments back in his face will lead to loss of trust and ultimately change how he feels about you.

7. Don’t Ask Questions You Don’t Want To Know The Answers To

Hey, he’s got a history and so do you. If you love him for who he is now, don’t worry so much about the steps he took to get there.

8. You Can’t Bombard Him The Second He Walks In The Door

He knows you want to talk about what that bitch said to you at work today or your plans to redecorate the bedroom, but for god’s sake, let him have a beer and stare at the TV for at least half an hour first.

9. Withholding Sex Is A Dangerous Game

I don’t care how mad you are at him, if you cut him off for an extended period of time, what happens next is on you.

10. He’s Jealous Of All Your Straight Guy Friends

Bitch about him to the girls all you want, but if you’re confiding things to other men and he finds out about it, he’s going to get jealous. Sorry to break it to you, but he wants to be the only man in your life.
11. He Wants To Try Anal

He might never ask for it, but he wants it. And odds are, most, if not all of his former girlfriends wouldn’t let him. Let him have it at least once, maybe on his birthday. It’ll be a bonding experience.

12. He Wants To Bang Your Friends

I’m not saying he’ll do it, but he wants to. Don’t take it personally—he’s wanted to bang 90% of all the women he’s ever met. It’s really not that big a deal. Let him know you know and watch how red he gets.

13. You Should Learn To Play Pool

There’s nothing hotter than a chick who can beat you in pool.

14. He Wants You To Seduce Him

Yes, he probably likes sex more than you do, but you want him to be happy, right? Don’t wait for him to instigate every time. Surprise him every once in a while.

15. He Notices When You Don’t Wear The Jewelry He Bought You

If you don’t like it, for Christ’s sake, say so and let him try again. It seems ungrateful when you wear it once and then he never sees it again.

16. He Wants You To Need Him

Sure, you’re an independent lady and he likes that. But he also wants to feel useful. So let him change a light bulb and open pickle jars for you. It boosts his self-esteem.

17. You’ve Got To Watch Your Weight

Oh shit, did I really say that? Well, it’s true. Just because you landed him doesn’t mean you can eat whatever you want and stop going to the gym (and to be fair, neither can he).

18. If You’ve Been Living Together For Longer Than Three Years, He’s Not Going To Marry You

At that point, he already considers himself married, and the idea of a wedding is more of a hassle than the special day it is to you. You can try to force him into it if you want, but…

19. Ultimatums Do NOT Work

Any time you try to force a guy to do anything, he WILL resent you for it. Try an honest talk about how you feel and what you want out of the relationship before you give him an “either/or.”

20. He Wants Kids

It’s hardwired into his DNA. No matter what he says when he’s in his twenties, when he gets a little older, he’s going to want a legacy to leave behind. But please make sure he’s ready before you stop taking your birth control.

21. He Knows When You’re Lying To Him

He might not even be sure what you’re lying about, but he knows when you’re not being honest. Better come clean, or his head will fill up with worst-case scenarios.

22. He Wants You To Like What He Likes

Whether it’s movies, sports or hobbies, he wants you to enjoy those things with him. Even if it’s not your thing, try to have fun with the fact that it makes him happy.

23. He Thought You Looked Good In That First Outfit

The more you change clothes before you go out, the more impatient he gets. After the second one, he doesn’t care anymore. Just pick one and let’s go!

24. He Has No Interest In Shoes

What is it with women and shoes? You may think that new pair is the cutest thing in the world, but it just mystifies him.

25. You Should Always Take His Side

Within reason. But if he’s involved in some kind of debate and you take sides against him in public, he will never forgive you.

26. He Wants You To Expose Him To New Things

He wants to feel like you’re bringing something extra into his life, so tell him about your favorite authors, philosophers, whatever. If you help him grow as a person, he’ll always be grateful to you for it.

27. You Need To Tell Him Exactly What You Want

Don’t make him guess, because he’ll pick wrong. And don’t be vague about it either. If you want something, just say it straight out. Odds are, he’ll give it to you.

28. He Hates That Short Haircut

Very few women can pull off that pixie hairdo (although the ones that can do it beautifully). He likes your hair long, so don’t go chopping it all off without running it by him first. How would you feel if he got a Mohawk or grew a rattail?

29. He Wants You By His Side

If you abandon him at parties and go talk to your friends while he talks to his, you’re not giving him that level of completion he wants in a partner. Sure, you can branch out now and then, but he wants you to work as a duo.

30. You Should Never Flirt With His Friend

I know I said earlier that he wants to bang your friends, so this might seem like a double standard, but it’s true. He’ll think you’re fucking with him—or worse, that you’re actually attracted to one of his buddies. Don’t risk ruining his friendships or there will be bad times ahead.

31. He Wants You To Be His Muse

Behind every great man is a great woman. And of course you can have your own hopes and dreams, but he needs you help and inspire him to achieve his.

32. Whatever It Is  You Want In Bed, He WILL Do It

Don’t be embarrassed to ask for it. Whatever you sickest, most twisted sexual fantasy, it’s PG-13 material compared to the shit that goes on in his head.

33. He Needs To Lean On You Sometimes

Most of us are pretty good at shouldering our burdens, but every so often, they get too heavy. But don’t sit him down and make him talk about his feelings—that’s YOUR thing. Just do some little things for him to pick up his slack when he’s overwhelmed.

34. Save The Big Piece Of Chicken For Him

He works hard, he doesn’t complain much. He deserves it (thanks to Chris Rock for that one).

35. Don’t EVER Emasculate Him

Even if you’re just joking. I promise you, he won’t think it’s funny. And if you do it during a fight, your relationship might never recover.

36. He Doesn’t Want To Hear About Your Sexual Past

If you feel the need to give him a number, fine, but don’t get into what you did with whom, no matter how much he asks. I promise you, he doesn’t want to know.

37. He Wants To Be The Best Lover You’ve Ever Had

And if he’s the love of your life, he probably is. But if he’s not, just lie to him.

38. If He Cheats On You Once, He’ll Do It Again

Even if he apologizes and honestly regrets it, if you let him get away with it, it WILL happen again.

39. You Should Let Him Open Doors For You

It’s great that you’re all liberated and shit, but being a gentleman never goes out of style. Let him do those little things and it will make him love you more.

40. You Need To Be His Moral Compass

He looks to his woman to keep him in check. Make sure he always does the right thing.

41. You Should Let Him Win Sometimes

Men hate it when you’re better at them at what they love. He has a fragile ego, and sorry, but you need you to cater to it sometimes. If you throw a game and he gloats, though, all bets are off.

42. If You Make Him Watch A Chick Flick, At Least Give Him A Blowjob Afterwards

Seriously, those things are painful. You have no idea how much we hate them. If he made it through the whole thing without complaining, reward him. And if it was one of the SEX & THE CITY movies, you owe him either anal or a threesome. Your choice.

43. Speaking Of Threesomes… He Will NEVER Stop Trying

It doesn’t mean you’re not enough for him, it’s just that it’s the ultimate male fantasy. I’m not saying you ever have to cave in (it’s probably best if you don’t). But just tolerate his attempts to make it happen. He can’t help himself.

44. He Needs Quiet Sometimes

You don’t have to fill the silence with pointless chatter and small talk. If you’re comfortable together, you should be able to just shut the fuck up every once in a while.

45. You Should Compliment Him More

Hey, women aren’t the only ones who like compliments. Tell him he looks good, tell him he’s smart, whatever. He needs to hear that shit every once in a while.

46. You Don’t Always Have To Be Right

Hey, if it’s worth it, then just dig your heels in and fight to your dying breath. But sometimes, he just wants his opinion validated and you don’t have to contradict him just because you see things differently.

47. Make Sure You Look Just As Good When You Go Out With Him As When You Go Out With The Girls

We all get lazy after a while when we don’t have to impress anyone anymore. But if you’re all sweats and T-shirts when it’s just the two of you and you’re smoking hot when you’re going out without him, he’s going to wonder who you’re doing that for.

48. He’s Not Your Dad

For all you princesses out there. Yes, he’s supposed to take care of you, but it’s not in the same way. You’re a grown woman, for Christ’s sake. Learn the difference between a father and a partner.

49. You’re Not His Mother

If you’re always picking up after him and washing his dishes, he’s got some growing up to do. Don’t play into his Freudian fantasy.

50. He’s Not As Complicated As You Are

Don’t go thinking that means you’re deeper than he is, though. Or smarter. He just likes to keep it simple. If you can understand and appreciate that, you might end up complimenting each other very well.

Chuck Henderson
 
1234 comments
daftaar
daftaar

Disgusting, patriarchal, super traditional, primitive nonsense!


In your Fucking dreams Chuck!

justhurryup101
justhurryup101

Every fucking word that's coming out of this loser's mouth is trying to degrade women. If this is honestly how u feel, you'd never get laid In LIFE BRAH

DonnyStan
DonnyStan

As a man I apologize for this shit bag writing this incredible collage of douchbaggery. Ladies. DO not listen to this shit. Double standards are not the sign of a healthy relationship. PERIOD. 

cocofine
cocofine

I believe that everyone missed the point of the article I believe that it is saying that the majority of men would appreciate it and value his woman more if she would just put him first in her thoughts. The men who were against what the article said is only a small percentage of the male population. Everyone want a relationship but no one is willing to put in the effort to have one or to sustain one. People think that all they have to do is just be in the relationship but this is why it don't work out because everyone want to be first and selfish. In order for a relationship to work you have to put you partner first and there is just no way around it. This is also why marriages don't work either because everyone is being selfish. If you are not willing to put the partner first then don't expect things to work out. If you love someone then you want that person to be happy and if by giving them what it is that can make them happy and content in the relationship what is so wrong with that. This is the key to having a lasting marriage or relationship but first you have to really love someone to really put  them and their needs first. And I suspect that a lot of you that have made these negative comment about this article don't have the slightest idea of what love is or how to give of yourself to someone who you are suppose to be in a relationship with. Most of you were raised in the generation of selfish me love, love of yourself and never learned how to love or give to anyone else. I bet if any of you were mature enough to try some of these things that was suggested I bet that it would improve your relationships. But it would not last long though because there needs to be love for the other person in order for it to work and last. All I can say is I feel sorry for the me generation because you don't know how to love and you have missed out on a lot being so selfish.

EdwardDay
EdwardDay

This guy sounds like a dick. And I was very surprised by the anal comment until I eventually realised he meant giving it rather than recieving.

SavannahLove1
SavannahLove1

this is disgusting, officially a lesbian thanks for that. 

KevinHulki
KevinHulki

I know tons of guys who never wanted kids, me included.  That point is way off the mark. 

LJY2008
LJY2008

Seriously, who is the dumb, deluded fuck who wrote this?


The only thing any person needs to know about men is that decent men don't want any of the above.


Do not settle for any guy who demands this of you (or anything of you for that matter)...life is too short and you are better off on your own.


The guy that wrote this is some PUA, MGTOW, MRA douche canoe who doesn't even know what HE wants let alone what anyone else wants.


Stay away from this crap, this will only make your life worse; not better!

RichieTipsyKariuki
RichieTipsyKariuki

Ahaha, lighten the fuck up people jeez. Although i can only agree on some of the points made now that I'm old and grey at 30, going through the list brought back some pretty hilarious thoughts of growing up and trying to figure out females and myself for that matter...

Some of it is so true though!

...Chicks man.

SeanYaho
SeanYaho

New list.

1: If you believe this list properly depicts what all men want. You're dead wrong. That is all... 

rachelrosky
rachelrosky

@SeanYaho Right? This is completely insulting to decent, grown men. This is the list of a 16 year old boy.

afshintx
afshintx

Some parts were sensible, others were trite, and other still were completely inane.

SeerOfLight
SeerOfLight

This was so sexist it made me want to stab myself just reading it!

teleworm3
teleworm3

There are many things wrong with this article. I'm a guy, and there's no way on hell I would EVER have a threesome. Hell no. Sex is great, but only with one person. 

MeriDa1
MeriDa1

@WalshBob harry potter is fiction you fuck face. i think you need a break.....

MeriDa1
MeriDa1

wrong on #20. not everyone wants kids. men & women this day & age arent having them. called the childfree (not childless....FREE) lifestyle...& no it isnt a phase. its a permanent thing. (those that do supposedly change their mid never were CF to begin with). i know men & women ranging from 5 years old to in the centurian age who never did like or want kids...& never will....& yes  i am NOT kidding on the 5 years old thing...i was fucking five when i said i hate kids & would never have them....between 30-40 & have not changed my mind. i am in fact looking into getting fixed...permanently...not  a reversible one...a permanent one. no i wont regret it...only stupid people regret & clearly dont have adoption or whatever in their vocabulary. deal with it!

LJY2008
LJY2008

@MeriDa1 Punctuation and grammar is good. Seriously dude, your post is completely ambiguous.

Jlaw51
Jlaw51

Man, dude. This article is like a cosmo article with inversed genders. Seriously, as a dude, a relationship is take and give from both parties, so having all these 'rules' is bs. I agree with maybe 1/3 of the rules, the rest contradict one another and ask for too much. Whoever wrote this article either had a bad relationship with his mother or had a girl who really had his number. Like I said, 1/3 of the rules are applicable...the rest is BS.

Marlene721
Marlene721

This is written by a man who has women troubles. LOL  None of this is anything a man would say to his mother or his daughter. This is the basest "I want to be king of my dream world".  Any man who actually thinks this is anything other than a wishlist will end up alone or unhappy with any relationship.  First rule ladies, don't date a guy who thinks a woman is an object with no real feelings.  But then, any woman over 16 knows that. LOL

YivGyam
YivGyam

some of these points sound really stupid but thats neither here or there. what im more annoyed about is this sound more like orders than opinions. don't do this, you should let him do this. the way in which it's written makes guys sound like entitled douchebags who just wanna bang everything with boobs. thats fine if its true but you may wanna reconsider phrasing. 

unclearimage86
unclearimage86

I'm a guy, and for the first damn time on the internet someone finally wrote down basic shit women should know.

We're guys,  we're not girls. Want to date a girl? Go date a girl.

LarryLarryLlarry
LarryLarryLlarry

Everything is great except  #20 - he does not want kids.. DOES NOT want kids. 

socalfemale
socalfemale

If men truly aren't as complicated as women why have you listed 50 things a woman must do for a man? Both women AND men are complicated, relationships are complicated. A real woman will know how to treat her man like a man, and a real man will know how to treat a real woman.  They also understand how to be adults about things in relationships.   What you are talking about here are little girls and little boys.  Not adults. 

wind84
wind84

@LarryLarryLlarry @socalfemale I'm sorry, "rules"? The only rule in a relationship is that you should treat each other with respect. This list is propagating abusive behaviour by listing what a woman shouldn't wear, how she shouldn't style her hair, who she can and can't be friends with, how she should act, etc.

thedish21
thedish21

Do you have a daughter? Tell this to her.  If not do you have a close male friend with one?  Ask him to share these tidbits.  Then duck.

EriciaHayse
EriciaHayse

Some of this is just crap, not all men are the same just the same as no 2 people are the same. A lot of this is correct for men and women though.

kherpuppet
kherpuppet

wow.  Tough to read a nine-year old's idea of what "men" are like.  But I guess those that follow this advice are never actually going to find a woman.  So thanks for thinning out the herd for the men. :)

bronwynvictor
bronwynvictor

I actually really loved this post!! Could relate to a lot of things - and can honestly say i respect a lot of those points and implement them on a daily basis! was very entertaining and truthful! Thanks dude - you should write some more ^.* :D

realevo
realevo

@bronwynvictor 


I'll agree with the whole 50 points if you get me a strap on and let me share in your interest in anal sex. 

JoLCash
JoLCash

I'm genuinely offended by this thread, while some of these things make sense most are bullshit. If my boyfriend was a needy asshole who fancied all my friends but would flip if I talked to one of his I'd dump his ass. If he expects me to just sit idly by pretending to be some helpless female who needs a big strong man all the time he can fuck off. And if I'm expected to like all of his shit with no reward I'm certainly not rewarding him for deigning to do something I LIKE for a change! Boys are not the childlike, blundering, selfish, spoiled babies this post makes them out to be. And also, I look awesome with short hair, so suck on that.

vtwin700
vtwin700

Unfortunately most women won't take this to heart and/or will just get pissed off but I felt like these are so true I could have written them myself.

vtwin700
vtwin700

@kherpuppet @vtwin700 No, I just have the balls to tell it like it is.  Sorry that I'm just not the spineless metrosexual that you are or are looking for in your relationships.

webb_dustin
webb_dustin

@kherpuppet @vtwin700  So you accuse people of immaturity and yet you're telling the public about the blow-up dolls that you seem to have experience with?  Kher, you might disagree with the post, but if a reader thought it had valid points (which I feel there was), doesn't mean you should try for the grade school joke that you already attempted, a second time.  If you feel the need to validate your opinions by talking about the "hot" women you've been with, you might want to reconsider the immaturity argument you're having.

vtwin700
vtwin700

@kherpuppet @vtwin700 My guess is your idea of hot is about 250 pounds of shrew.  Ass-kissers like yourself never land an attractive woman and if they do they quickly get left for a far more masculine man.

LarryLarryLlarry
LarryLarryLlarry

@vtwin700 @kherpuppet YEAH DUDE. If you treat hot women like everyone else and kiss their ass you get NOWHERE.....................OH, I DATE HOT WOMEN BECAUSE I'M SUPER NICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCE. 

kherpuppet
kherpuppet

@vtwin700 @kherpuppet well son, there is a fine selection of blow-up dolls that will cater to your every cowardly whim after you leave grade school.  You won't actually find a woman who will have anything to do with you, though.  The reason I've been with amazing and hot women is because I don't treat them like whores.  You'll find they kind of prefer that.  


Oh, and thanks for telling everyone reading this that you actually do not have balls.

MissLeAnn
MissLeAnn

At a time like this I can't help but wonder what "Captain Kutchie Pelaez" would have to say about this subject?  Would he agree with most of you here or would he claim again that his Famous Key Lime Pies are the cure for everything? Or perhaps we should ask his darling wife "Miss Anita"?
 ..,.,Just Check Them Out At  "Anita and Kutchie Pelaez's Key West Key Lime Pie Factory and Grille'. I bet you Dollars to Donuts it will be the Key Lime Pies!...

Somethree12
Somethree12

What a breath of fresh air to see an article that is made from a man's point of view, in the midst of all the feminist propaganda we usually see on "lifestyle" sites (obviously I haven't been to this site before). Of course we are all different and a few of these points mean nothing to me, but most of them do mean a lot.


To women who might consider these 50 points to be awful chauvinist requirements: No, you don't have to be perfect. A relationship is a compromise. But if a woman who truly understands most of these points and tries her best, a REAL MAN will also try to be the best man he can be for her.

kherpuppet
kherpuppet

@Somethree12 no Man wrote this, or would take it seriously.  But by all means, prevent yourself from being in a relationship with a woman if you follow ANY of these ludicrous points.

RexLittle
RexLittle

These spellcasters must be the real deal.  They're keeping this thread alive.  :)


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