50 Things Every Woman Should Realize About Men

50 Things Every Woman Should Realize About Men  50 Things Every Woman Should Realize About Men

Don Jon

This one’s for the ladies. Fellas, you can hang around if you want to, but you gotta stand over there in the corner and be real quiet. Don’t worry, I’m not gonna hit on your girlfriends and wives, but I got a few things to tell them. Trust me, this is for your own good.

Okay girls, now it’s just you and me. You’re all looking very pretty today, maybe we can go grab a drink sometime—no, shit. I promised I wouldn’t do that. Sorry. Habit.

Anyway, the reason I pulled you all aside…is to show you my penis. Wait! Don’t leave, I was just kidding. Okay, I think I got it all out of my system now.


Seriously, though, I want to let you in on a little secret—men don’t know shit about women. We just can’t figure you out, and all our attempts end in humiliating defeat. So stop expecting us to understand the intricate mystery that is the feminine psyche and just accept the fact that it’s never going to happen. However…there is hope. Once you stop over-thinking men and realize that they are much less complex than you are, you can take charge, keep them content and get what you want at the same time.

So here’s a list of things that will help you help him to create a strong and lasting relationship with just about any guy. And if you need any extra help, I do offer private tutorials. You know where to find me.

1. You Gotta Stay Away From His Internet Search History

You can’t handle it. It’s more or less the same for every guy, so don’t think he’s a perv or anything. But if you go browsing where he’s been, you’ll regret it. There are some things you can’t unsee.

2. You Can’t Change Him

I know that you know this intellectually, but on some level, you may still think you can pull it off. You can’t. And if you do manage to get it done, he’ll figure it out and resent you for it. Love him the way he is or not at all.

3. You Shouldn’t Take It Personally When He Checks Out Other Women

Unless he’s leering and drooling, just let it slide. It’s a reflex and he can’t help it. Just let it slide.

4. He Will Choose His Friends Over You

They’ve been with him for way longer than you have, and no matter how much he loves the regular sex, he’ll sacrifice it if you’re trying to 86 his buddies from his life.

5. Never Criticize His Mother

If he wants to do it, and you commiserate with him, that’s fine. But if you’re the one who brings it up, watch the fuck out. Odds are, there are qualities she has that he sees in you, so try to figure out what those are and relate to her on that level.

6. You Have To Let Shit Go

You’ll have a lot of fights over the course of the relationship, but when they’re over, they really need to be over. Throwing old arguments back in his face will lead to loss of trust and ultimately change how he feels about you.

7. Don’t Ask Questions You Don’t Want To Know The Answers To

Hey, he’s got a history and so do you. If you love him for who he is now, don’t worry so much about the steps he took to get there.

8. You Can’t Bombard Him The Second He Walks In The Door

He knows you want to talk about what that bitch said to you at work today or your plans to redecorate the bedroom, but for god’s sake, let him have a beer and stare at the TV for at least half an hour first.

9. Withholding Sex Is A Dangerous Game

I don’t care how mad you are at him, if you cut him off for an extended period of time, what happens next is on you.

10. He’s Jealous Of All Your Straight Guy Friends

Bitch about him to the girls all you want, but if you’re confiding things to other men and he finds out about it, he’s going to get jealous. Sorry to break it to you, but he wants to be the only man in your life.

11. He Wants To Try Anal

He might never ask for it, but he wants it. And odds are, most, if not all of his former girlfriends wouldn’t let him. Let him have it at least once, maybe on his birthday. It’ll be a bonding experience.

12. He Wants To Bang Your Friends

I’m not saying he’ll do it, but he wants to. Don’t take it personally—he’s wanted to bang 90% of all the women he’s ever met. It’s really not that big a deal. Let him know you know and watch how red he gets.

13. You Should Learn To Play Pool

There’s nothing hotter than a chick who can beat you in pool.

14. He Wants You To Seduce Him

Yes, he probably likes sex more than you do, but you want him to be happy, right? Don’t wait for him to instigate every time. Surprise him every once in a while.

15. He Notices When You Don’t Wear The Jewelry He Bought You

If you don’t like it, for Christ’s sake, say so and let him try again. It seems ungrateful when you wear it once and then he never sees it again.

16. He Wants You To Need Him

Sure, you’re an independent lady and he likes that. But he also wants to feel useful. So let him change a light bulb and open pickle jars for you. It boosts his self-esteem.

17. You’ve Got To Watch Your Weight

Oh shit, did I really say that? Well, it’s true. Just because you landed him doesn’t mean you can eat whatever you want and stop going to the gym (and to be fair, neither can he).

18. If You’ve Been Living Together For Longer Than Three Years, He’s Not Going To Marry You

At that point, he already considers himself married, and the idea of a wedding is more of a hassle than the special day it is to you. You can try to force him into it if you want, but…

19. Ultimatums Do NOT Work

Any time you try to force a guy to do anything, he WILL resent you for it. Try an honest talk about how you feel and what you want out of the relationship before you give him an “either/or.”

20. He Wants Kids

It’s hardwired into his DNA. No matter what he says when he’s in his twenties, when he gets a little older, he’s going to want a legacy to leave behind. But please make sure he’s ready before you stop taking your birth control.

21. He Knows When You’re Lying To Him

He might not even be sure what you’re lying about, but he knows when you’re not being honest. Better come clean, or his head will fill up with worst-case scenarios.

22. He Wants You To Like What He Likes

Whether it’s movies, sports or hobbies, he wants you to enjoy those things with him. Even if it’s not your thing, try to have fun with the fact that it makes him happy.

23. He Thought You Looked Good In That First Outfit

The more you change clothes before you go out, the more impatient he gets. After the second one, he doesn’t care anymore. Just pick one and let’s go!

24. He Has No Interest In Shoes

What is it with women and shoes? You may think that new pair is the cutest thing in the world, but it just mystifies him.

25. You Should Always Take His Side

Within reason. But if he’s involved in some kind of debate and you take sides against him in public, he will never forgive you.

26. He Wants You To Expose Him To New Things

He wants to feel like you’re bringing something extra into his life, so tell him about your favorite authors, philosophers, whatever. If you help him grow as a person, he’ll always be grateful to you for it.

27. You Need To Tell Him Exactly What You Want

Don’t make him guess, because he’ll pick wrong. And don’t be vague about it either. If you want something, just say it straight out. Odds are, he’ll give it to you.

28. He Hates That Short Haircut

Very few women can pull off that pixie hairdo (although the ones that can do it beautifully). He likes your hair long, so don’t go chopping it all off without running it by him first. How would you feel if he got a Mohawk or grew a rattail?

29. He Wants You By His Side

If you abandon him at parties and go talk to your friends while he talks to his, you’re not giving him that level of completion he wants in a partner. Sure, you can branch out now and then, but he wants you to work as a duo.

30. You Should Never Flirt With His Friend

I know I said earlier that he wants to bang your friends, so this might seem like a double standard, but it’s true. He’ll think you’re fucking with him—or worse, that you’re actually attracted to one of his buddies. Don’t risk ruining his friendships or there will be bad times ahead.

31. He Wants You To Be His Muse

Behind every great man is a great woman. And of course you can have your own hopes and dreams, but he needs you help and inspire him to achieve his.

32. Whatever It Is  You Want In Bed, He WILL Do It

Don’t be embarrassed to ask for it. Whatever you sickest, most twisted sexual fantasy, it’s PG-13 material compared to the shit that goes on in his head.

33. He Needs To Lean On You Sometimes

Most of us are pretty good at shouldering our burdens, but every so often, they get too heavy. But don’t sit him down and make him talk about his feelings—that’s YOUR thing. Just do some little things for him to pick up his slack when he’s overwhelmed.

34. Save The Big Piece Of Chicken For Him

He works hard, he doesn’t complain much. He deserves it (thanks to Chris Rock for that one).

35. Don’t EVER Emasculate Him

Even if you’re just joking. I promise you, he won’t think it’s funny. And if you do it during a fight, your relationship might never recover.

36. He Doesn’t Want To Hear About Your Sexual Past

If you feel the need to give him a number, fine, but don’t get into what you did with whom, no matter how much he asks. I promise you, he doesn’t want to know.

37. He Wants To Be The Best Lover You’ve Ever Had

And if he’s the love of your life, he probably is. But if he’s not, just lie to him.

38. If He Cheats On You Once, He’ll Do It Again

Even if he apologizes and honestly regrets it, if you let him get away with it, it WILL happen again.

39. You Should Let Him Open Doors For You

It’s great that you’re all liberated and shit, but being a gentleman never goes out of style. Let him do those little things and it will make him love you more.

40. You Need To Be His Moral Compass

He looks to his woman to keep him in check. Make sure he always does the right thing.

41. You Should Let Him Win Sometimes

Men hate it when you’re better at them at what they love. He has a fragile ego, and sorry, but you need you to cater to it sometimes. If you throw a game and he gloats, though, all bets are off.

42. If You Make Him Watch A Chick Flick, At Least Give Him A Blowjob Afterwards

Seriously, those things are painful. You have no idea how much we hate them. If he made it through the whole thing without complaining, reward him. And if it was one of the SEX & THE CITY movies, you owe him either anal or a threesome. Your choice.

43. Speaking Of Threesomes… He Will NEVER Stop Trying

It doesn’t mean you’re not enough for him, it’s just that it’s the ultimate male fantasy. I’m not saying you ever have to cave in (it’s probably best if you don’t). But just tolerate his attempts to make it happen. He can’t help himself.

44. He Needs Quiet Sometimes

You don’t have to fill the silence with pointless chatter and small talk. If you’re comfortable together, you should be able to just shut the fuck up every once in a while.

45. You Should Compliment Him More

Hey, women aren’t the only ones who like compliments. Tell him he looks good, tell him he’s smart, whatever. He needs to hear that shit every once in a while.

46. You Don’t Always Have To Be Right

Hey, if it’s worth it, then just dig your heels in and fight to your dying breath. But sometimes, he just wants his opinion validated and you don’t have to contradict him just because you see things differently.

47. Make Sure You Look Just As Good When You Go Out With Him As When You Go Out With The Girls

We all get lazy after a while when we don’t have to impress anyone anymore. But if you’re all sweats and T-shirts when it’s just the two of you and you’re smoking hot when you’re going out without him, he’s going to wonder who you’re doing that for.

48. He’s Not Your Dad

For all you princesses out there. Yes, he’s supposed to take care of you, but it’s not in the same way. You’re a grown woman, for Christ’s sake. Learn the difference between a father and a partner.

49. You’re Not His Mother

If you’re always picking up after him and washing his dishes, he’s got some growing up to do. Don’t play into his Freudian fantasy.

50. He’s Not As Complicated As You Are

Don’t go thinking that means you’re deeper than he is, though. Or smarter. He just likes to keep it simple. If you can understand and appreciate that, you might end up complimenting each other very well.

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Unfortunately most women won't take this to heart and/or will just get pissed off but I felt like these are so true I could have written them myself.


At a time like this I can't help but wonder what "Captain Kutchie Pelaez" would have to say about this subject?  Would he agree with most of you here or would he claim again that his Famous Key Lime Pies are the cure for everything? Or perhaps we should ask his darling wife "Miss Anita"?
 ..,.,Just Check Them Out At  "Anita and Kutchie Pelaez's Key West Key Lime Pie Factory and Grille'. I bet you Dollars to Donuts it will be the Key Lime Pies!...


What a breath of fresh air to see an article that is made from a man's point of view, in the midst of all the feminist propaganda we usually see on "lifestyle" sites (obviously I haven't been to this site before). Of course we are all different and a few of these points mean nothing to me, but most of them do mean a lot.

To women who might consider these 50 points to be awful chauvinist requirements: No, you don't have to be perfect. A relationship is a compromise. But if a woman who truly understands most of these points and tries her best, a REAL MAN will also try to be the best man he can be for her.


These spellcasters must be the real deal.  They're keeping this thread alive.  :)


I cant believe this is still going on. I commented on this in July. Ive moved on. Ive done things. Unfollow lol


50% of this is completely cliché.

The other 50% is total d*ck-baggery.

Women, you can do better.


Shame on whoever wrote this. I liked parts of it, but REALLY? A blow job after a chick flick? HE DEFINITELY WANTS TO TRY ANAL? Some ABSOLUTELY ridiculous. I'm a man, and so many of these have nothing to do with reality. Please don't take all these as fact!


lol you're crazy if you think that there aren't girls out there who are exactly what you're describing but in reverse. LOL and of course your gf is going to hit on your friends. You want to sleep with hers she'll sleep with yours. I don't know why guys like you think that girls are so different. If you treat your gf like that she will sleep with other guys behind your back and you'll probably never know. Just the same as you would do it to her. A lot of the ways that you describe women don't describe any of the girls I know. I personally hate chick flicks and I watch porn more often than my bf lmao. And my bfs ex actually was the one who cheated on him with his friends and had threesomes with them not him. And she still tries to have sex with him even tho she's now banging most of his friends. Sick and tired of guys like this who say that it's not ok for women to be this way, but it is for guys. lmao Look at any study statistically women cheat more than men. And this article is why. Because guys like you think it's ok to be this way, but your gfs can't. And why should we do what you want to do and share your interests, but we owe you if you watch a "chick flick". Girls want their bfs to share in their interests too. If you make us watch movies we don't like do you owe us a gang bang? A lot of girls I know are opting not to get married anymore or have children because of guys like you. And for the record if you hear the way some girls talk when there aren't any guys around you wouldn't say that. Have a brother? A hot best guy friend/dad. Guaranteed your gfs talked about banging him and how hot that would be. Girls just aren't as open about it because we don't want to be with a guy like that lol. And for the record not all girls or guys are this way. There are good guys out there and that's the guy that every girl wants to end up with. Sometimes we end up with a loser though. Also those guys out there who work long days and don't want to have sex often... same thing goes for girls who withhold sex. You will lose her. And asking a girl to have anal sex with you can't compare to anything that you can do for her if it hurts her. Why would you want to hurt your gf? She already has to suffer through childbirth if she has your children. If I told you it turns me on to step on your crotch with my stilettos would you let me? Maybe you should start dating gay men at least they like it.


If this described my man I would drop him in a second for being such a self centered bastard.  And if this describes all or even most men and they "can't help it"  then men are just mentally retarded and women are clearly the superior species....lol. I'm okay with that. Any woman that would waste her time settling for this description is spending a lot of wasted time on life. Just stay single if this is your only option in a man.


@HabibSThomas I commented back in March and still can't believe I'm getting updates.  However, I'm not surprised at the amount of beta males and women trying to tell men how they should feel.


@blondegirl2014 So you're justifying women being sluts by blaming men? Honestly 100% not surprised.


@Jesseen Female chauvinist cunt.

Why would you be with this guy in the first place, hmmm? Sounds like you'd blame him for you being a shitty judge of character, and by the sounds of your man hatred I'm assuming your current boyfriend is a cuckold yes man who doesn't even fart without asking for your permission first. The last part of your paragraph accurately describes a person like you, as well.


@MiscBrah @blondegirl2014 Un-eloquently as she put it, she's right. 

Why do women have to accept certain, ultra offensive and hurtful things about men, and in the same breath be told "Don't you dare do the same?" I must stroke his ego, take it up the ass,  tolerate him checking out other women, watching porn, and wanting to fuck my friends -- all but the first two being terribly damaging to the female ego -- but if he watches a movie I like I "owe" him a BJ, or anal, or a threesome? Where the hell is all of MY oral sex and m-f-m's for tolerating all of his male bs?

The anal: Every guy I've ever dated has nagged for this like it was going out of style. Yet if I ever gave any of them what they wanted, that would make me not marriage material. Hypocritical much? "I want it, but don't give it to me, lest I lose respect for you. Unless, of course, we just watched a chick flick, then you can give me anal." Yeah, right.

And about threesomes: You'd be surprised how many women want two men at once. And really, it makes a whole lot more sense, anatomically, than two women with three holes each sharing one penetration tool. How many men here would just accept that their woman will "never stop trying" to get another man into bed because "it's the ultimate fantasy," but "it's not because you aren't enough." Bull Shit. Chances are you are not adequately satisfying the one woman in your life. And if a woman was being satisfied by another woman, they sure as shit don't need YOU there. So all you males out there might want to rethink that ultimate fantasy of yours. 


@ViktorVaughn You hate women. You should probably date men (if you aren't already), although no decent gay man deserves your shit.


@activesolar @ViktorVaughn Was that supposed to hurt my feelings? Not one thing in your ad hominem attack was true, and that not-so-subtle gay bashing at the end wasn't at all necessary, nor did it paint you as the better person.

Giving women equal accountability isn't woman hatred
Telling someone who says idiotic things like "men are just mentally retarded and women are clearly the superior species" that they're chauvinists isn't woman hatred.

I know you think otherwise, but misogyny isn't a cut-and-paste offense, and doesn't apply to every occasion. If you consider me expecting people to act like decent people and not like self-entitled asshats to be "shit", then I don't know what to tell you outside of I never want to interact with someone like you outside of the internet (or on the internet, for that matter).


@activesolar @ViktorVaughn No, you just aren't special like you think you are just because you have a hole we can stick our dicks in. Your shit is getting tired and you're realizing more and more men aren't falling for your BS in regards to getting married. Men take 100% of the risk while all the females eventually take advantage of this. 

Not anymore. Pretty soon we'll be having "herbivore men", like what's happening over in Japan.


@AuroraAnnettePariseau @OstensibleTree Have you gotten raped yet? I really hope so. I'm done with your kind; you are a worthless waste of time gender that gets glorified only for your cock mitten. Guys are delusional to marry such manipulative creatures. I would say they get what they deserve, but I still spread the word as best I can to inform them what they are getting themselves into. Gold digging scum (aka, most females) should get what's coming to them. 


@OstensibleTree And you don't seem to deviate from the trolling. Its really hard for me to believe someone would be this stupid to believe what you wrote.


@AuroraAnnettePariseau @OstensibleTree Right, because you're an authority on what's stupid. Of course, you wouldn't dare say anything like this to my face, so keep typing behind a computer monitor. I see your Facebook is linked to your profile, maybe I'll see what info you have up there about yourself.


@OstensibleTree Lol as if you could hit me. Have you ever been in a fight? Seeing as YOU'RE the troll, you're the one hiding behind the screen. I'd hit you once and you fall over giving up. 

You sure talk a lot of shit about alphas being superior, but then you troll your ass off as a pussy. Get lost, and don't come back. All talk, no logic.


@AuroraAnnettePariseau @OstensibleTree  Oh boy, the dyke thinks she's a figther. You probably have been in a slapping contest, before you guys make up and scissor each other. Just because you may be the butch in your relationships doesn't mean you're as strong as a man. Now stfu, I looked on your Facebook and you are 4/10 material, 5/10 if I'm feeling generous. It also appears you have a lazy eye. Why the fuck am I talking to such a disgusting creature such as yourself? 

No wonder you go for girls, no guy wants to touch you.


@OstensibleTree Because I exist to please you, LOL. Have fun having a miserable, lonely, existence. 

Also, I'm not butch. I KEEP IT REAL, FUCKTARD TROLL.


@AuroraAnnettePariseau @OstensibleTree You're placing way too much value on your glory hole. Also, it's funny how you all say you don't want to be objectified, yet you always use insults that relate to sex. Oh no, the sex object says I want get laid by it if I don't pretend to act a certain way! See what you are doing there, Miss Vagina?


@OstensibleTree Lol you think this has to do with me?

You're the one being a fucking massive hypocrite. You started by coming in here saying women only want an "alpha."  Then you explicitly state women are only good for sex. THEN you say "Oh, I shouldn't have to act that way for sex."

TL;DR Troll.


@AuroraAnnettePariseau @OstensibleTree No dumbass, I'm saying you don't matter, sex or no. I'm perfectly happy shoving my cock inside your vagina, and just as content if I have to truck it with porn. 

And all those examples don't contradict the other. Women, real women, do want an alpha. An alpha owns his chick, but also protects her. And I don't need to act a certain way, other than be confident, and you women fall for it more than not. If a woman puts up a front then I just move on to the next target.


@OstensibleTree @AuroraAnnettePariseau

Okay few things... I posted on this thread probably at least 2 months ago... OstensibleTree is STILL trying to troll everyone all the while making it VERY apparent that they have absolutely no fucking life. I subscribed to the emails so I can see when people comment (a little comedic relief does my day well). What a sad existence you must lead. Taking bits and pieces of other peoples comments and firing them off aimlessly at other people. 

The lowest form of troll - the copytroll.


@OstensibleTree Because that is absolute truth and there is no way, in an objective sense, that it could be proven.

Oh, forgot I was talking to a two year old. PROVE IT. And please, stfu. You're not even funny.


@AuroraAnnettePariseau @OstensibleTree Females have smaller brains than males, google it. Females brains are more "middle of the road" in intelligence, if you will. Males however fluctuates on the spectrum (ie, it's why we have more geniuses on our side)


@Ostensible Tree - you need to prove the part about geniuses please.  Just provide a link.


@OstensibleTree And yet you post no information, link, or study actually proving that. 

I took the liberty of looking it up. Yes, males tend to have larger brains. No, it is NOT attributed to intelligence. It is simply different regions that are larger. http://www.nhs.uk/news/2014/02February/Pages/Mens-and-womens-brains-found-to-be-different-sizes.aspx

If you're going to spout a fact, at least understand it. I dont think anyone would argue you would make up the low end of the spectrum for the entire species. Please, do not reproduce. 


@AuroraAnnettePariseau @OstensibleTree You're a female, so your opinion is null and void. 

And yes, larger areas of brain = chance for more "brain wrinkles" which directly correlate to intelligence, dumbshit. That's why we, as a fact, have more geniuses apart of the male gender. Any article that is wishy-washy or denies this is pandering to the female audience.

Now shush and go make me a sandwich.



1. Correlation != causation

2. Again, you have not drudged up any proof whatsoever of what you speak.

3. Some parts of the female brain are LARGER than that of the male brain. Again, something you're keen to ignore.

4. STOP TALKING. You're an idiot whose genome should be erased from existence.



I linked an article explicitly stating it had nothing to do with intelligence. You're not pissing me off, you're making me feel bad for you for how stupid you are. Seriously, you claim to be an "alpha" but you have 0 intellect. I give you evidence, I give you logic, and all you can say is "women r stoopid."

Here, this will explain your inferiority. No, I'm not talking about men. I'm talking about you. http://www.alternet.org/media/most-depressing-discovery-about-brain-ever


@AuroraAnnettePariseau @OstensibleTree For all your "intelligence" you don't seem to put together much. You just aren't getting it. I'm better than you because I'm a male. I'm better than you because I'm me. Nothing is higher than the Self. Everyone around me can burn and be flayed alive for all I care, I would want to watch and laugh. That goes for my family, anyone, so long as it isn't me. I'm the only thing that matters in this world, and whatever I say goes. I'm a God afterall.

And you are nothing to me, you're not even a human being. I'm talking to an automation - a robot based around her circadian patterns that dictate her behavior.. her very existence. With a flick of my wrist I could break your neck, and end that existence. Where would your "brain power" be then? Make no mistake, you're a play-thing, and your kind will always be such. What is it, the number of little girls abused is 1-3? I'm happy to admit I've contributed to that statistic in my lifetime. What can you do about it? Nothing.

Females will always be taken advantage of, simply because you are WEAK. Even if you were smarter in general (which you aren't), males would still have their way with you and still be the better gender for that fact. It always puts a smile on my face when I see pictures of girls bashed up by males, it's only a shame that it wasn't worse. 

If it were up to me, I'd exterminate half of your entire population, while keeping the rest in cages, only to be let out for breeding purposes. I'd have my fun once in a while and perform torture - tie you up and slowly drag the knife across your body, under your finger nails, cut off your clit, poke out your eyeball. Only in a perfect world I suppose, but then, maybe I'll make plans to do it down the road eventually. Everyone deserves their own little slice of Heaven in life, don't you think?

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