Calling Bullsh*t On All Of You That Believe Cheating On Your Significant Other Is No Big Deal

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I was reading an article on some site not half as cool as this one about people’s attitudes towards cheating. It suggested… no, it didn’t suggest anything, it outright stated that cheating on your boyfriend or girlfriend or husband or wife was really no big deal these days, that it didn’t make you a bad person, and it was just a part of being in a modern-day relationship. Like it’s almost expected, even.

Well, I’m calling bullshit.

The author of that article was a dude, and he was ascribing this blasé outlook towards fidelity mostly to young women, more or less blaming them for this current sad, sorry state of affairs. Now, I see where he’s coming from, but I sure as hell don’t agree with him.

Not so long ago, we held our wives and girlfriends up on pedestals. If they were cheating, it was unlikely that it was really about sex—it was more of a statement that she was unhappy in the relationship. That’s why in movies, when a woman cheats, it’s always with a poet or an artist who teaches her how to love herself or some romantic bullshit like that. Now, that’s a pretty antiquated outlook. Women are allowed to enjoy getting laid (almost) as much as guys, so it doesn’t always have to be about something bigger. Sometimes, sex is just sex, even with the ladies. What I think bothered the author of the article is that women have a distinct advantage over men when it comes to sex. They can have it whenever they want. Even if they’re not that hot, if they go to a bar and put that vibe out there, they’ll get some. Guys still have to work for it, and even if we’re rich and good-looking, it’s never a guarantee. So, it’s harder for a guy to cheat than it is a woman for the simple fact that it’s harder for guys to get laid.

Image via Shutterstock

Image via Shutterstock

But that shouldn’t matter within the confines of a relationship. I’m tempted to say that if this fella is getting cheated on so much, then he’s dating the wrong kind of woman, and there’s probably some truth to that. But if this epidemic is as widespread as he’s saying, it’s your own damn fault.

It seems like nowadays, cheating is a punishment for doing something wrong. You forgot your anniversary, so she went out and sucked a couple of dicks to make sure you never did that again. You had a fight and you accidentally called her mother a bitch, so she let a guy finger-bang her in the bathroom of a movie theater. If it’s true that this is the state of the modern relationship, that’s fucked up.

My attitude towards cheating is as follows: people are going to do what they’re going to do. When I was younger, when I was with a woman whom I felt was likely to stray, I’d hold onto her with an iron death-grip to make sure she didn’t. Why? Why would I want to be with someone who I had to watch like a hawk to make sure she wasn’t cheating on me? Fuck that. If she’s gonna, she’s gonna. And if she did, I think I’d probably know.

And that brings us to part two of my outlook: people do what you let them. Say you got cheated on. Say it was as punishment for something you did, or say she ran into an old boyfriend and it “just happened.” Whatever. If you forgive her (or vice-versa, it works either way), you’re an idiot. There’s no excuse that should be good enough. If someone cheats on you and you find out about it…dump them. I don’t care if you love them. They don’t love you. Dump them. It’s already over.

It’s just not right to accept cheating in relationships. Unless we’re talking about some sort of “free love” thing. That, I can get on board with.