Gentleman: Here’s A Guide To Understanding What Women Say And What They Actually Mean

1/7/13 6:45AM EST

Image via Shutterstock

Image via Shutterstock

Women are complex beings who might as well speak in secret code. Delivering loaded statements, insinuations and hints, women often forget that men, unlike them, are not mind readers. Luckily, there’s a solution: Like any other foreign language, you, too, can master “woman-speak.” Refer to the below chart to read between our lines.



“Do you really want to go to the party?”I don’t want to go to the party.
“Do whatever you want.”Please think long and hard about what you’re going to do.
“I’m not upset.”I’m definitely upset. Wait a few minutes and I’ll tell you.
“Fine.”End of argument. You’ve made me mad.
“Are you listening to me?”I am not an idiot – I can tell that you’re not paying attention.
“I don’t want to ruin our friendship.”I don’t want to date you so am letting you down easy.
“Do you love me?”I am feeling vulnerable right now; I need reassurance.
“Nothing is wrong.”Trust me, something is definitely wrong.
“We need to talk.”Something is not right with our relationship.
“You’re such a nice guy.”This is going nowhere. I’m really not interested in you.
“So-and-so was flirting with me last night.”I hope you know that I am desirable. Tell me I’m beautiful.
“Aren’t you going out with the guys?”I was really looking forward to some alone time… leave!
“I don’t tell my friends about our private life.” Of course I talk to my friends about us. I need to find solace in other beings who understand woman-speak!
“It’s your decision.”The answer should be obvious…
“It wasn’t that expensive.”It was somewhat expensive, otherwise I’d have said it was cheap.
“I’ve only slept with five people before you.”Give or take 10.
“You don’t communicate enough.”I need more from you; I need to know how you feel.
“This old dress? I’ve had it for ages!”Yes, my dress is new. Thank you for noticing.
“Whatever.”You’re screwed.

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#41 and #18 are probably the first signs I should have noticed.

Most of this fits. You could almost live with it, if it wasn't for 41.

Put her ass through college, and the paypack you should expect is constant physical abuse. Then by the end of the relationship (10 years) she has convinced everyone that your the physical one.

If she hadn't done such a good job isolating you, it would be even worse. Fortunately, by that point - your life is so in ruins that the only way to go is up or dead.
Since your forced to restart, it's kind of easier then trying to pick up the pieces and put it all back together.


. All other women more attractive than her are whores....

ooh i had not even finished reading the article.


All other women are bitches....

the one am trying out is calling them whores


Thank you for sharing. We came across your article in an attempt to handle my son's crazy girlfriend,meeting for the first time,after she made our family vacation a nightmare. Our hope in sharing this information with him after he dumped the crazy one, we realized he needed a warning check list in order to avoid this type of girl in the future. You information was spot on. We found out from him that this crazy one had more than 3/4 of the 50 things you listed. Thank you so much this information saved my son. Signed a very grateful mom

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