21 Types of People You Don’t Want In Your Life Past 25

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At a certain age, it becomes clear that some people around you haven’t quite matured at the same rate as others. In order to stay sane in the face of your newfound adulthood, it might be time to think about the sort of people holding you back as you try to mature at socially acceptable rate. The following list should help you put your finger on exactly why a certain person seems to always be present when you vomit during a night out, or implicated in every fight you have with your girlfriend. Here are some of the labels for people you might want to avoid once you hit your mid-twenties:

1. The Unproductive Stoner

Though you’ve always enjoyed munching away Sundays with this girl, you’re starting to get depressed when you leave her apartment knowing that you’re going to work tomorrow and she’s going to continue sitting on her ass getting baked and watching cartoons. Her lack of interests other than bud varieties and the latest episode of “Robot Chicken” is also starting to grow harder and harder to relate to.

2. Your Live-In Parents

If you feel like you’re suffocating because your parents can still monitor where you go, who you see, and what you eat, it’s definitely time to move out of their apartment and move somewhere more conducive to conducting a life of your own.

3. Your High School Ex

At first, it seemed harmless that Jeanine from your sophomore year of high school still texted you once in a while at three in the morning to “see how you were doing,” but now, it’s getting creepy that she has yet to move on. Try telling her that you’re seeing someone and pray that she can do the same.

4. The Misogynist Pick-Up Artist

This guy may never reach the point where he can understand and respect women in a way that distinguishes him from any seven-year-old boy. If he doesn’t get that at 25, he’s not going to get it at 40.

5. The Guy Who Always Gets You Into Trouble


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You know this guy. If he was around in high school, your parents would cringe every time you said you were meeting up with him after school or, worse, on weekend nights. As an adult, the consequences for the scenarios he drags you into have morphed from detention to suspension to jail time.

6. The Allergic-To-Jobs Guy

The longest position he’s held lasted for a month, and that was because his father was the boss. Not everyone is made for the 9-to-5 grind, but if he hasn’t come up with some kind of alternative by now, he’s got to be pretty immature.

7. The Leader Of Your College Alumnae Association

Do you really want to keep getting those emails that insist you update your graduating class on what you’ve been doing every year since leaving college? I didn’t think so.

8. The Friend Who “Will Pay You Back”

Loaning her seven bucks for a sandwich is no big deal, nor is getting the cab fare from the night you traveled from Harlem to Brooklyn in the rain, but when this adds up to one hundred sandwiches and fifty cab rides, you’ll regret your generosity big-time.

9. The Permanent Visitor

He said he’d be crashing for “just a couple of nights,” but those couple of nights have turned into a couple of weeks. Politely remind this guy of your original agreement and get him the hell out of your apartment.

10. The One-Upper

You’ve heard about her job’s generous bonuses and boyfriend’s gargantuan penis for years. Now, it’s time to find a some more relaxed people to spend your time with because life, after all, is not a race to the finish.

11. The Guy Who Can’t Stop Buying Shots

You’re out with your friends on a Saturday night having a great time venting about the week and indulging in a couple of drinks. How in the world did you go from there to clutching the sides of your toilet bowl the next morning at 5am? Answer: Your one friend who insists on buying the table round after round of tequila shots. He’s either got to cool down on the shots front, or his invitation to next Saturday’s meet up will get lost in a “text message miscommunication.”

12. The Debbie Downer


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Everyone detests overly perky individuals, but the opposite can get old pretty quickly, too. If this friend has never once expressed satisfaction about anything from a restaurant to a sex partner, maybe it’s time to consider that they might be dragging down your perspective on the world, as well.

13. Nostalgia Guy

Living in the past can plaster a dreamy smile to your face for only so long before it becomes a look of wild desperation to repeat what’s already been done. If he wants to go back every year to celebrate “senior festival” at college, he’s going to have to start making the journey by himself.

14. Your Super Clingy Friend

It’s not a good look to have someone else tethered to your arm while you’re trying to make the rounds at a cocktail party with fellow professionals (unless that person is your significant other, of course, which makes it perfectly socially acceptable).

15. The Pusher

You know the person who always seemed to have extra molly in her pockets or readily provided LSD for all the concerts you’ve attended? Though she may be entrenched in the mindset that doing as many drugs as possible equates to a good time, you may start realizing that a grown-up brain can only endure so much before it needs to take a several-day nap.

16. The Virgin

This one is included for a generous reason–that being, you don’t want any of your 25-year-old friends to have yet to experience one of the most important and enjoyable acts known to humankind. If a good friend of your is unlucky enough to remain in this boat in his mid-twenties, that’s of course no reason to ditch him.

17. The Person Who Only Cares About Getting Laid

On the other end of the spectrum, this person has clearly failed to develop hobbies and other personal interests if his sole focus remains getting women to have sex with him. That kind of one-track-mind diligence precludes investing in relationships with staying power, which is something you’d hope he’d be capable of at this point.

18. Your Arch Enemy

Drop the feud. As an adult, it’s time to get over whatever seething animosity exists between the two of you and either get this person out of your life (whether that means simply blocking him on Facebook or deleting his number from your cell phone) or try and finally make peace. Aren’t you getting too tired (not to mention busy) to participate in indefinite arguments?

19. The MySpace Acquaintance

It’s weird that you’ve still kept in touch with this person over virtual messaging since your MySpace accounts were abandoned for Facebook ten years ago, but now the time has come. Either meet this person and invest in a friendship, or stop wasting even more of your time in a virtual world.

20. The Diet Fad Enthusiast

This is not the year to live only on wheat bread and coffee, and don’t you dare let this individual trick you into believing otherwise! “Juicing” means imbibing mostly sugar, and having a companion who refuses to admit that/encourages you to go against reason and join in the fad is detrimental to your health.

21. The Cyberbully

If people do this at all, you should obviously stay away from them. If they do this past high school, you should probably also refrain from even looking them in the eye.