5 Pieces Of Awesome Advice You’re Probably Dishing Out That You Should Take Yourself
How come we are so good at assessing others’ situations so well and offering the best advice, but when it comes to our own lives, we can’t find a way to be objective? Most of the time, we already know the right thing to do or the next step to take when jumping over the hurdles in life — we’re just too busy offering the medicine to someone else to take a spoonful ourselves. Next time you open your mouth to offer a sage piece of wisdom, remember to jot it down for yourself — chances are it’ll do you some good next time you’re stuck in a funk. Here are five pieces of awesome advice you’re probably dishing out right now that you should take yourself.
1. Listen to your gut — it’s pointing you in the right direction.
Why is it so easy to tell someone that they know best when it comes to making a tough decision and listening to their gut is probably the best thing to do in the end, but it’s almost impossible to swallow this pill yourself? If you’re anything like me, you tend to overthink situations and make extremely methodical choices, and even then second guess whether you made the right choice. I’ve found that more often than not, my gut has pointed me in the right direction in any given situation. My problem is that I’m so afraid of making the wrong choice that it clouds my belief that I’m making the right one. (Life in my head is no stroll in the park.) Youusually mull over a problem and ask a million people their opinions on something, but in the end it’s always you that has to choose a path. You’ve been given two voices in your head: A quieter, wiser one and a louder, obnoxiously paranoid one. When in doubt, listen to the first. Trust me: Trust yourself.
2. Be patient, you’ll make it through the tough times.
It’s amazing to me how much stress muddles our brains into thinking clearly. Everything is compounded 100 times over when you’re under stress: Time seems slower, you feel lonelier, the future seems bleak and hopeless. Except when witnessing someone else’s stress, it’s easy to maintain perspective and remind them that it’s just a period; things will get better. The best advice you can give anyone and yourself is just that: Things will get better; the tough times will pass; just give it some time. And you know all this is true because you’ve experienced rough periods before and come out on the other side just fine. Perspective is just the ultimate magic trick, isn’t it?
3. You’re smarter/more beautiful/more talented than you give yourself credit for.
No matter how downright fabulous we are, we find ways to put ourselves down by comparing; we compare to others; we even compare to the unrealistic images we have of ourselves, which always seem to be way worse than reality. Again, there’s something sick that goes on in our brains that convinces us to listen to the meaner, louder and paranoid voice rattling off in our heads telling us that we’re just not good enough. And I’m not talking about feeling not good enough to an extremity; I’m talking about telling yourself you’re not smart enough to get into a highly coveted school, or telling yourself you’re not pretty enough to get asked out by some guy, or telling yourself just about everyone is more successful than you. You know you’re guilty of falling somewhere on this range of negativity — everyone is. But the next time you find yourself being unable to understand why someone else can’t see the great qualities you see in them, give yourself a quick self-examination. Do you actually realize how awesome you are, too?
4. Don’t settle for someone who doesn’t respect you.
How many times can you even recount advising someone such basic, seemingly obvious advice — and yet, you’ve been in those same guilty shoes yourself? Again, let perspective be your friend here. Everything seems sooo much more complicated when you’re the one dealing with a situation, and you just know that “no one else can understand.” But most likely someone else has been there; they know what it’s like to be in a relationship with someone who, frankly, just didn’t offer the same mutual respect. And no matter how much you make excuses for why he or she did this or the fact that he or she “didn’t mean it,” you know you’re doing yourself a disservice. If you could look at yourself from a third-person perspective, you’d probably be shaking your head in pity for the person who insisted on keeping themselves trapped in a toxic relationship. It’s easy to dish advice and judgment when you’re the shoulder someone is crying on, but don’t ignore the sirens when they’re going off in your head. You know better than anyone when you are settling for less than you deserve, so don’t fool yourself into thinking otherwise.
5. You were young and stupid…now you know better.
Unless you are guilty of murder or some other heinous crime, it’s OK to say that a large portion of your mistakes can be excused with this sage truth. We all do stupid shit, and leave it to time and age to make us realize just how stupid some of our mistakes were. (As if getting older wasn’t already just a big ol’ hoot.) But the beauty of the past is that it’s over, and you got to leave with the awesome parting gift of retrospect. We make mistakes so we can learn not to make them again — it’s just that plain and simple. Would you rather live with the regret of not having known what life was like if you hadn’t done that one thing or gone out with that person? There’s no room in life for regret, but if you had to choose between suffering the consequences of making a choice or living forever not knowing what would have happened, I’d definitely pick the prior. You live and you learn, and then you know better — time to move on.