Dating is a game, and as the saying goes, if you’re not playing it, you’re losing it. There’s nothing wrong with some of the things we do to try to get the upper hand when we’re meeting new people that we potentially want a future with. But you can’t put so much thought and calculation into every little thing you say and do. Remember, you’re trying to emotionally connect with someone, after all.

Guys tend to stress out about a lot of things when dealing with a new woman in their lives, and one of the first is when they’re supposed to call her. Could be after she’s given you her number or it could be after the first date. It doesn’t matter. If you’re really stressing over when you need to call a girl, the answer is always “the next day.”

Guys usually make one of two mistakes in this situation. The most common one is waiting too long. This tips her off that you’re playing a game, and the number one rule of game playing is to not let it show. So, congratulations, asshole. By waiting three days because you heard that was the rule, she now knows you’re running game on her and that puts her in the lead. The other thing guys do is call her right away and get all eager and nervous like in that scene in SWINGERS with Jon Favreau and the answering machine. That shit actually happens.

The best thing to do is call her the next day because it takes all the game play out of the equation. It’s the perfect amount of time to wait and gives you all sorts of options. For one thing, you don’t have to ask her out right there and then. I mean, you can if you want to, but the beauty of the next day call is that it can just be casual. You’re just calling to say hi, to tell her it was great meeting her, whatever. My advice is to keep it brief, make her laugh a couple times and tell her you’ll call her again. Some guys like to leave the ball in her court and count on her to make the next call. Up to you, but I usually like to be the one who makes the calls, at least until after the first couple of dates.

And for fuck’s sake, whatever you do, don’t text her. You’ll come off as either a pussy or an asshole. You’re a pussy because you’re afraid to talk to her. You’re an asshole because, well, c’mon. It’s just plain rude. It’s okay for her to text you because she’s a girl. You’re not a girl, you’re a man, so call her like a man.

So there it is, fellas. Don’t over-think it. You know you want to, and you should know if she wants you to, so go ahead and make the call. You have my blessing.

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