So… who’s up for some terrible advice?

Based on the results of a decidedly unscientific study conducted by the University of Arizona, sex with your ex might actually be good for your psychological well being. That’s right, in spite of all evidence to the contrary and the dictates of common sense, revisiting the beds of your former flames might be just the thing you need to get over them.

Now, these findings would be less surprising if they came out of ASU (those Sun Devils think they can bang their way out of any situation), but U of A is actually a halfway decent school. Granted, the state of Arizona is not known for its good judgment in general—what with its legislated racism and refusal to acknowledge Daylight Savings Time and all—so it’s tempting to just outright dismiss these results, but they were published in The Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, so they’ve been given at least the air of legitimacy.

The study consisted of a survey of 137 divorced men and women, and out of that 137 people, 82.5% of them had remained in contact with their exes. 21.9% of that number had slept with them, and I guess most of that 21.9% said it had been a good idea.

And fair enough. I can get on board with those numbers. They sound right to me. But here’s the thing—you can’t just take their word for it, at least not if you’re going to try and call it science and publish it in a journal and shit. Of course they’re going to say they did the right thing. Even in hindsight, admitting our own mistakes—especially when those mistakes involve sex—is not something must of us do very readily. Hell, we’ll bend over backwards to justify even the most self-destructive of actions. And besides, most of the time, any decision that results in getting laid is considered, you know, “good.”

But the truth is, throwing sex into any equation obliterates your ability to see things clearly. That’s why you have friends—to tell you when you’re being an idiot, whether you listen to them or not. If the researchers had really wanted to know if it was a good idea to sleep with your ex or not, that’s who they should’ve talked to—these peoples’ friends. I bet the numbers would’ve dropped a little.

The study went on to dig a little “deeper” finding that people who said they were having trouble getting past their break-ups found comfort in the hook-ups, and that it eased the pain. No shit. As if people haven’t been turning to sex to ease their pain since sex was invented. And it’s been pretty well documented that sex is maybe not the best solution to most problems. It shouldn’t be news to anyone that a break-up—and especially a divorce—will leave something of a big, gaping hole in your life, and trying to fill that hole with part of what created it is only a temporary solution. It might feel like what we need, but it’s only the illusion of fulfillment.

So, the best thing you could probably say about this study is that it’s irresponsible, and I think it’s a little worse than that. These results seem like Shroud Science, meant to reinforce an already established position. It’s like the guy (or gal, I don’t know) who came up with the idea for it was trying to convince himself that nailing his ex was not only perfectly harmless, it was actually beneficial.

It’s such a ridiculous position that it makes me wonder if the real psychological experiment isn’t just to publicize bullshit studies like this one so they can observe the way we react.