Guy Tip: Not Everyone Who Compliments You Is Hitting On You
Is it sexist that I would probably never compliment a woman I didn’t want to sleep with? Probably, but there you go. I’m sorry, but the simple, God’s honest truth is that it just wouldn’t occur to me to tell a woman I liked her top unless I was trying to get her out of it. Hell, most of the time, it wouldn’t even occur to me to say anything at all to a woman I wasn’t trying to get into the sack, but then again, I want to sleep with pretty much every woman I meet, even the fatties and butter-faces.
And I could be wrong, but I suspect most men—if they’re being honest with themselves—would say the same. When we sit down at the bar and tell a pretty girl a lot of nice things about herself, we’re not raising her self-esteem and confidence out of the kindness of our hearts–we usually have an agenda, and that agenda usually includes sweatiness and nakedness, hopefully not in that order. As far as men are concerned, compliments are a vital part of the flirting process.
Women, however, are very different from men in many ways, as you may have already heard. When a woman says something nice to you, that doesn’t always mean that she wants to get you between the sheets. Sometimes it’s just an honest, thoughtful observation they’re sharing with you, and it’s supposed to end right there. As I myself have learned to varying degrees of public humiliation, just because a chick tells you you’ve got nice eyes and laughs at your jokes, that doesn’t necessarily mean she wants to take you into the bathroom and have you bend her over the sink. Which can be really confusing.
I’m sure that when women dish out compliments without looking for anything in return, it’s not meant to fuck with our minds, but it does. Why are they being nice to us for no reason? It doesn’t make any sense. The singles scene is no place for random acts of kindness. It’s a world full of signals and various interpretations of those signals, and when someone acts like they’re attracted to us but they’re not, it throws us entirely out of whack.
So you know what? Let’s take a page out of their book. Stop fawning all over that blonde. Quit telling that girl with the enormous rack how smart she is. Instead, go up to the fatty at the end of the bar and tell her she has a pretty smile.
It’s good karma.
