So you know how we have the whole iGadget line? We have the iPhone. We have the iPad. We have the iPod. We have the iWhateverthehell. We have tons of gadgets all brought to you by the letter ‘I’ when it comes to Apple’s incredibly successful and lucrative digital media venture.

The iPhone has become popular all over the world, and it’s hard to even mention the word to someone without receiving some kind of response about the company that made it. Even if that response is bad, it doesn’t really matter all that much, because they know the brand well enough to have a freaking opinion. How cool is that?

But we were THIS CLOSE to not having an iPhone at all. We were going to have the TelePod, instead. Or a MicroMac. Even a Mobi. And a Tripod. Yes, like the things you put cameras on to steady your shot. A Tripod.

Anyway, the Tripod didn’t win out, but the name made a huge, huge impact on the idea of the iPhone as a whole. When Steve Jobs, our lord and savior, was alive and well, he really hammered on the idea that the iPhone was a combination of an Internet communications device, an iPod and a phone. Hence, the Tripod, which eventually became… the iPhone, since iPod was already taken by Apple’s other multimillion-dollar gadget.

Apple even thought about naming the iPhone the iPad, which would have completely destroyed our world. I guess Jobs and company could have just called the iPad the iTablet or something stupid like that, but that would make people who have issues with congruency unhappy (i+P = apple product).

But there was a problem with the iPhone name, which is why Apple went to all of these alternative names first. There was this douche of a company that, upon realizing the iPod was highly successful, decided to claim the name iPhone for itself. The rival tech firm Cisco had already released its product and dubbed it the iPhone. But eventually Apple took Cisco to court, and they settled the matter there for some cash and “personal favors,” and Apple could use the name in June 2007. Which it did, as we see.

Do you know why the TelePod was one of the front runners? Because it sounded futuristic and reminded people of a telephone. And Apple wanted to reflect the Pod version of the “iPod” instead of the “I”. Which is stupid, if you ask me. I mean, I guess back then, it wouldn’t have looked as stupid. But looking at it now, the “i” schema was obviously much more lucrative. I don’t even know how a company as big and as powerful as Apple could ever even consider calling its product the Telepod. That sounds like one of those names that people call a popular product in a piece of fiction that makes fun of said product. Disgusting, Apple. I guess we can all be glad you pulled it together there at the last minute and made it work.