The worst thing about being in a relationship with a girl is when it’s time to end it. Even if you’re a cold-hearted son of a bitch and any feelings you’ve ever had for her have long since dried up, even if you’re spending more time jerking off in front of the computer than in bed with her, even if every single thing about her—from the way she hogs the covers to the noise she makes when she chews her food—drives you bat-shit crazy, breaking up still feels like giving up. It feels like failure. And we don’t like to give up or fail at anything.

So we do one of two things. We fight to try and save the relationship, or we try to manipulate her into ending it for us. The former is almost always a lost cause that’s going to compound the failure even more and the latter is pretty much a chicken-shit cop out.

Trying to save a relationship when the feelings aren’t there anymore is pretty pointless. And I’m not talking about the point where the honeymoon phase is over and the white-hot passion has cooled. That’s always going to happen. You’re going to get used to each other after a few months, that’s just part of the deal. But if you’re a year or more into the relationship and the bitch is irritating the shit out of you on a daily basis, then you probably don’t love her anymore if you ever did, and odds are she’s not so crazy about you, either. Stop wasting each other’s time and pull the plug.

Likewise with trying to get her to do the dirty work for you. Since the beginning of time (or at least since women have been considered more than just property), men have acted mean and distant towards their girlfriends to get them to break up with them. It works almost all of the time and we come out of it feeling like the good guy. But it’s a bullshit move and you should be above it. It’s one of those times when you can prove to yourself that you have a pair. Sit her down and tell it’s over.

The biggest problem with staying in a dead relationship is that the longer you wait to end it, the uglier the break-up’s going to be. And for God’s sake, you don’t need that kind of drama in your life. It could mean the difference between having an ex-girlfriend and having a psycho ex-girlfriend. It’s going to be one or the other, which would you rather have?

The only reason you’re hesitating at all is because you’ve grown complacent. I once stayed with a girl for six months past our expiration date just because I didn’t feel like going out and looking for a new apartment. That’s some lazy shit right there. It’s going to happen sooner or later, might as well be sooner, and it might as well be by your hand.

Besides, after you bang that first girl post-break-up, you’ll wonder why you waited so long to get out, anyway.