While recovering from his Achilles surgery, Kobe Bryant has taken time on his annual offseason tour of China to put a Chinese team through a workout for a Nike ad. The practice is at 4:00 in the morning, because Bryant is a lunatic who believes waking up before everyone else adds to “mental toughness.” In the video, Mamba tells the group of players it’s important to be precise. Bryant then tells the players that when “..your mind is thinking about doing something right, your mind loses focus on being precise.” Uh.. okay. Hopefully that makes more sense when it’s translated into Chinese. Mamba goes on to drop a humble brag about how precise his moves are, after running the players through some drills. It’s unclear if any of the players actually speak English, so hopefully the subtitles capture the wonderfully batshit-crazy things Mamba is telling these guys. At least this time, Kobe didn’t make anybody cry.

Joe Long

Joe has been to Cooperstown once, but never NYC. As a broke college student, it doesn’t look like that will change for a while. In the meantime, he will use his extensive couch-potato skills and Wall-Street outsider perspective to bring loyal readers small doses of insanity every day. In return, he fully expects every reader to mail him gold coins. So, get on that.

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