This Russian MMA promotion has an extremely low budget. Not only do they have no money for a proper ring, electing to hold fights in what looks like a retro-fitted sand volleyball court, these promoters look to the audience when they need fighters to put on a show. Max Baltrushin needed an opponent. Dmitry Dzubiy decided he was gonna be the one to take on Baltrushin. The seemingly unathletic man then proceeds to strip down to his boxers and is given a pair of gloves, trunks, and a mouthguard. Stretches? Pre-fight coaching pointers? That’s all pussy shit. Warm-ups? That’s what the vodka’s for.

Dzubiy went on the offensive as soon as the fight started, ducking a weak punch attempt and securing the double-leg takedown. The fight got stood back up after Baltrushin was sent sprawling through the ropes. As soon as the fight starts up again, the fireworks start. Dzubiy put his adversary to an early bedtime with a series of crisp right hands to the dome. The fight lasted only 23 seconds was much more entertaining than the last few UFC events.

Holy shit, Russia. Holy. Shit.

Joe Long

Joe has been to Cooperstown once, but never NYC. As a broke college student, it doesn’t look like that will change for a while. In the meantime, he will use his extensive couch-potato skills and Wall-Street outsider perspective to bring loyal readers small doses of insanity every day. In return, he fully expects every reader to mail him gold coins. So, get on that.

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