To Text Or To Call?

sexy woman checking phone in car

Ahh, the ever-present question in those early stages of dating. Do I text her, or do I suck it up and risk stuttering, pausing, and overall sounding like an idiot on the phone when I call?

Or perhaps that’s not phrased the right way. Maybe the question is rather: Do I call her, or do I risk misspelling, creating a message that will last essentially forever in her phone, and overall reading like an idiot when I text?

The answers to these questions obviously depend on the scenario surrounding your communications. Here are a couple in which it’s better to send her a text:

After meeting on a drunk night out, you wake up with flashes of that gorgeous blonde with the alluring smile and that name…you just can’t remember… But wait, there’s a new number in your phone listed under: “Sxy Blondr.” So maybe your inebriated self isn’t the best at spelling, but at least he knows how to not let a hot girl disappear. Considering this girl may not have been all too sober herself when she gave you her number, it’s best to send a morning after text message in this situation. Don’t do it too early, and maybe referring to your hangover/how she’s feeling will help to keep the mood of the text light and make it so you don’t sound too desperate (which you shouldn’t be—you hardly know the girl). Also, you don’t want to lead off a phone call with: “Hey, uh, what’s your name again…?” You don’t need to know someone’s name in a text message, and you can figure it out if she agrees to meet you again in person.

When you’re in the early stages of dating and you see something that reminds you of her in the course of your day, send her a text. Why not? As long as you don’t overdo it, the gesture will show that you’re thinking of her when she’s not around. If you call at this point, the conversation could easily fall flat. I mean, how much can you say to follow up that you saw her favorite kind of dog wearing a stupid sweater pass you on the street? A picture text of said dog will send the message without forcing you to keep up a pretty flimsy conversation. Also, the girl probably doesn’t want to be bothered by a call when she’s at work or going about her daily activities.

Now let’s consider some situations where the call reigns supreme.

Say you run into a girl you’d been crushing on a while back, a girl you’d flirted with in the past but hadn’t kept track of and so she’d fallen off your radar. Now here she is, standing in line right in front of you at your preferred coffee stop. You guys talk, catch up, share a few laughs, and it becomes clear she is happy to see you again, too. If she happens to give you her digits before taking off with her iced, skinny, vanilla latte, you should definitely consider giving this girl a call if you want to see her later. Since you already know her, the possibility of an extended conversation shouldn’t be an issue. Plus, talking on the phone gives you an extra opportunity to feel out the situation and see if she might want to date you, or just be reunited as friends. It’s near impossible to figure this out over text messages.

Another good time to pull out the ole’ phone call comes after the first date that ends up in your/her bed. A call here shows that you care about more than just getting laid (regardless of that being the truth or not). This isn’t to say that a, “Hey, I had a great time last night” text will fall flat, but if you send one of those, please do follow it up with call a day later to arrange your next meeting… if you want one. Funny how just one, simple phone call is enough to keep a girl from feeling used these days.