Your wallet’s a lot lighter than it used to be, you had to pass on joining your buddies on that last-minute trip to Vegas, you couldn’t ask out that sexy barista who flirted with you this morning and you were just forced to sit through another episode of Dancing with the Stars. Sometimes having a girlfriend sucks.

It’s perfectly normal to have moments when you yearn for your single days after becoming firmly entrenched in a long-term relationship. You’re only human. Doing whatever you want all the time is a lot of fun and it can be hard to let go of. But you did let go of it. You knew what the pros and cons were going into this thing, so there’s no sense in bitching about it now. Okay, it’s alright if you have to vent every now and then, but if you’re truly unhappy with your girlfriend, you’ve got no one to blame but yourself.

There are a few things about being in a relationship that you just have to accept at face value. First of all, yes, girlfriends are expensive. Always have been, always will be. They feel appreciated when you take them on fancy vacations and buy them nice jewelry and shit like that. There’s no way around it, so you might as well just suck it up. Besides, a good girlfriend won’t try and make you spend more than you can afford, so go ahead and open up your wallet, you cheap bastard.

And I know you miss hanging out with your dumb little buddies every night, playing X-Box, drinking beer, lighting farts and all that fun stuff, but you have to grow up sooner or later. I’m not saying you should give up your friends altogether—you absolutely shouldn’t, and if that’s what she’s trying to get you to do, run away as fast as you can. There’s a lot of middle ground you can work with, though. Cut the drunken revelry with the guys back to once or twice a week. That should be enough to keep her happy.

Then there’s the complaint that’s as old as the concept of monogamy itself: you’re not allowed to sleep with other women. Well, that’s the trade-off for guaranteed sex on a regular basis. Deal with it. At least you don’t need to use condoms anymore.

If these things are too much to bear, then I got news for you. You’re either not ready for a serious relationship or she’s not the right girl for you. Seriously, it drives me crazy when I hear a guy go on and on about what a pain in the ass his girlfriend is. It’s your girlfriend, not your wife. If you’re not even married and she’s already irritating the shit out of you, well, that’s the kind of thing that’s probably not going to get better with time. Do yourself a favor and cut her loose.

The bottom line is that yes, having a girlfriend can suck at times. But—and I don’t want to sound like a pussy here, but it can also be pretty great. The right women can build you up and help you become a better man, no bullshit. The wrong one can suck the life out of you. So if you’re not happy in your relationship, go ahead and get out before it’s too late. Because while having a girlfriend might suck every now and then, it’s nothing compared to having an ex-wife.