Nineteenth Century Scottish essayist Thomas Carlyle once said, “Popular opinion is the greatest lie in the world.” A new app now allows users to create extravagant facades describing exciting evening escapades through social media updates, all while sitting at home on the couch.

CouchCachet uses Foursquare to seek the most popular venues in a user’s neighborhood—as demonstrated through check-ins—and automatically checks-in its couch-potato members.

The “social application that will lie and say you are already doing those things while you sit at home in your pajamas,” developer Brian Fountain told the New York Times. “It’s the only application that increases your social status, while you do nothing at home.”

The app is even sophisticated enough to make sure it never inadvertently checks users into a location their friends happen to be frequenting at the same time—blowing the user’s cover.

“We simply search for a place that your friends have not visited before, and we’re hoping they won’t have visited that night,” CouchCachet collaborator Harlie Levine told the Times.

In addition to check-ins, CouchCachet can also Tweet lyrics to indie songs users’ friends are unlikely to have heard before.

“It will wax poetic about local microbrews that you just discovered at some cool speakeasy,” Fountain said. “It will also upload low-fi pictures of 20-somethings in skinny jeans to your Instagram.”

The skinny? CouchCachet will “live the lifestyle you need to project to others,” Fountain told the Times. “You can finally be who you want people to think you are.”

Just be sure to keep your stories straight. As William Penn once said: “Avoid popularity; it has many snares and no real benefit.”

[Image via CouchCachet]